It’s been a busy month for me because I wasn’t able to catch up writ­ing and I paused for a while from read­ing a book.

It was a great moment of learn­ing from my men­tor last week togeth­er with oth­ers through fel­low­ship.

We dis­cussed a lot of things, from faith, Jesus, pur­pose, speak­ing, writ­ing a book, and rela­tion­ships.

Today, I would like to share with you what I have learned from rela­tion­ships.

There are many kinds of rela­tion­ships, co-work­er rela­tion­ship, friend­ship, roman­tic rela­tion­ship, man­ag­er to employ­ee rela­tion­ship, men­tor to mentee rela­tion­ship, etc.

They may seem a lot and I learned that all of them fall into two types of rela­tion­ship:

  1. Con­ve­nient Rela­tion­ship
  2. Covenant Rela­tion­ship

Now let me expound them for you.

Con­ve­nient Rela­tion­ship

Nah, from the word itself, the con­ve­nient rela­tion­ship is an easy way out for those who doesn’t like the incon­ve­nience and the messy part of rela­tion­ships.

Peo­ple who are into this kind of rela­tion­ship uses peo­ple to their own advan­tage. They act like con­sumers until you can give some­thing that ben­e­fits them, they will not leave you.

You need to fit into their world and if you don’t they will leave one day once they find a new orga­ni­za­tion or a per­son who can give them bet­ter options.

You also have friends like these, they want to be with you because you are fun to be with; they love fel­low­ships; they love talk­ing about their own stuff, but they will not sup­port you in your endeav­ors.

In the Bible, Jesus has this kind of friends. I think Jesus is an ambivert per­son; he loves to be with the peo­ple, he often with­drew from the crowd to have time for him­self and his Father.

Despite hav­ing many peo­ple fol­lowed Him, these peo­ple fol­lowed him because he per­formed many mir­a­cles.

SEE ALSO:  Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

And it was notice­able that these fol­low­ers left him the moment he preached a prophe­cy and declared that it has been ful­filled and only a few peo­ple remained to be with him.

The con­ve­nient rela­tion­ship is the rela­tion­ship that most peo­ple want these days.

A rela­tion­ship with­out labels, a rela­tion­ship with­out mis­sion, vision, and pur­pose.

The con­ve­nient rela­tion­ship can­not last when the messy part of every rela­tion­ship starts.

The Messy Part Of Every Rela­tion­ship

Accord­ing to C. S Lewis one of my favorite authors, he said, “To love at all is to be vul­ner­a­ble. Love any­thing and your heart will be wrung and pos­si­bly bro­ken. If you want to make sure of keep­ing it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an ani­mal. Wrap it care­ful­ly round with hob­bies and lit­tle lux­u­ries; avoid all entan­gle­ments. Lock it up safe in the cas­ket or cof­fin of your self­ish­ness. But in that cas­ket, safe, dark, motion­less, air­less, it will change. It will not be bro­ken; it will become unbreak­able, impen­e­tra­ble, irre­deemable. To love is to be vul­ner­a­ble.

Whether it’s a friend­ship, fam­i­ly, or roman­tic rela­tion­ship, to be in a rela­tion­ship is messy.

Strong rela­tion­ships were built when test­ed. There will be moments of dis­ap­point­ments, lost, offens­es, quar­rels, nev­er end­ing argu­ments, and etc.

Can you with­stand with these mess­es? A lot of peo­ple leave their church, their home, their friends because they can­not take offens­es. They don’t want to be cor­rect­ed. They refuse to under­stand oth­ers, what’s impor­tant for them is what they only believe is true.

I have friends who often tells me, “Hey Dhenn let me know if I am offend­ing you with what I am say­ing.” “It is okay, I get used to it, I often get offend­ed by my friends in the past and it helps me a lot to become the per­son I am today,” I replied.

SEE ALSO:  To The "Not Yet Married" Men In Clearing Your Intentions

In the past few years of my life, my friends offend­ed me a lot. I remem­ber how an argu­ment heat­ed up when we talk about LGBT with my VG leader on how we will reach out to them.

I was offend­ed when a close friend, court­ed the girl I like, but in the end, nei­ther one of us won her heart.

I was offend­ed when one of my close friends often checks what I post on Face­book and social media.

I can tell you a lot of times I was offend­ed. Being offend­ed is part of being in a rela­tion­ship. Will you over­look it? Take off your pride, be open, and teach­able?

If that so, you are mature enough to be in the next type of rela­tion­ship:

The Covenant Rela­tion­ship

Covenant rela­tion­ship does not only falls for the one who is get­ting mar­ried or mar­ried already.

Covenant is an agree­ment in which is in effect until the oth­er per­son dies. This kind of rela­tion­ships last­ed for a life­time.

It doesn’t require you to be with your friends all the time, hang­ing out of them, and etc. Even you are in the oth­er parts of the world, you are still friends through thick and thin.

I am grate­ful for the friends that I still have until today. I had the oppor­tu­ni­ty to dis­ci­ple some of them and most of them are mar­ried already and have their own fam­i­lies.

These friends stood the test of time. We meet rarely yet you can see that we are still bond­ed, only proves that we are in a covenant rela­tion­ship.

I would love to see that one day when we all have our own fam­i­lies, and grand­chil­dren, and become senior cit­i­zens, we will still see each oth­er and will just laugh about our past expe­ri­ences.

SEE ALSO:  Forgiving the Unforgivable

We have dif­fer­ent per­son­al­i­ties, atti­tudes, a dif­fer­ent process of char­ac­ter ref­or­ma­tion, and. if we only find and focus on our sim­i­lar­i­ties and for­get our dif­fer­ences and build on it, we can build long last­ing rela­tion­ships.

There will be sharp­en­ing, cor­rec­tion and rebuke.

But as the Bible says in Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharp­ens iron, and one man sharp­ens anoth­er. And no mat­ter how big the offense is, how the oth­er per­son goes against your doc­trine, still we are all chil­dren of God, our inher­i­tance is in heav­en, and what­ev­er seems joy­ful here in this world can­not out­last what is wait­ing for us in heav­en.

Of all the types and kinds of rela­tion­ships, I only know one thing that could last for­ev­er even after we die, and that is our rela­tion­ship with God.




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I blog about my dis­cov­er­ies and learn­ings with per­son­al devel­op­ment, blog­ging, writ­ing, pub­lic speak­ing, and pub­lish­ing. I am a Jesus fol­low­er. Each month, I send out a newslet­ter with free tips on those top­ics.

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