This letter was another prompt for me to write 500 words again, and today I want it to share with you a letter that I actually wrote for my younger self when I realized I wasted so much of my life trying to please other people, and finding my purpose. This was during my high school up to early 20’s.
Dear My Younger Self,
When I look into the glass that illuminates you, I see a shy, quiet man who is critically afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of rejection, afraid of loneliness.
Some of your classmates became your friends because you are a smart guy but they eventually betrayed you when you decided to teach them to study by not cheating or copying someone’s assignment or answers. Your conscience was not clear at that time, you’ve thought you did not do the right thing because they left you alone again, yet you never copied someone’s answer or assignment the whole time you are studying because your eyesight was a hindrance and you had no choice but to study hard.
A lonely man, someone who doesn’t know the true meaning of life, and the purpose behind it. Your failures that caused you to not believe in God anymore, that eventually led you to study atheism and its benefits. That made you reject God and suddenly stop calling for His help.
Then you rejected the truth, you mock the teachings in the Bible, you even questioned “tithing”, why would a God requires a man to give a tenth of his income? Why would a good God allowed people whom He created to suffer? Why there are many contradictions in the Bible?. Why Christian Churches fight each other in a debate? Are they doing that to prove the other one is wrong? Why?.
Then you became helpless, nowhere to go but to go up. I am happy to let you know that you came back like a prodigal son.
Now listen to me my younger self. It is not your fault why you’ve been there. It doesn’t mean when you are a believer you are exempted from the life’s suffering. I believe, each person was destined once to face those moments like that for them to realize they cannot live alone in this life, that living with the idea that there is no God, is like living as you are dead. You kept trying for years to find your significance yet you can only find it in Christ alone.
My younger self, God allowed trials to come upon to our lives to grow us and to mature us, because if we never mature, we will never achieve the destiny He has for us.
My younger self, tithing was not a requirement of God but rather a test of our faith. God doesn’t need our money, it doesn’t have any value for Him. He wanted us to tithe because He wanted us to teach stewardship, because long ago, the first man and woman neglect their responsibility to take care of the things that have entrusted to them. Tithing is a heart issue. He wanted to know if you really love Him by surrendering everything of yourself even your money to His authority.
My younger self, there were no contradictions in the Bible. You can only say that because you have never read the Bible from cover to cover. Read it for yourself and ask God to guide you, because you cannot understand it by reading alone without the help of the Holy Spirit.
My younger self, some Christian Churches fight each other to argue with what they know about the Bible but yeah, it’s a bit off when members of their congregation defeated their opponent and they were all rejoicing. It is not good because you cannot win a soul for Christ in that way.
Lastly, I hope that there was someone who guided you all the way to your faith in God during that time but there was none. Don’t worry, you’ve suffered so much and you have endured it. You’re a victor in Christ.
Now you are a disciple of Christ, help other people to follow Him. Snatch them out of the darkness and bring them closer to God.