Last week, Mon­day, I spent my hol­i­day togeth­er with my friends and new found friends inside the com­mu­ni­ty of sin­gles from our church.

Twas a whole day of fun and get­ting to know some of them through ask­ing ques­tions and play­ing games with them. As they said, you can only know the peo­ple for who they are by play­ing games with them.

When Singleness becomes a sickness

 

For so many years that I’ve been a Chris­t­ian and spend­ing time and min­is­ter­ing to some sin­gle men for years, and observ­ing some of my friends who are sin­gle, most of them thought that sin­gle­ness is a sick­ness.

Whether be it a sin­gle man or women, count­less of them hop­ing they are in a rela­tion­ship with some­one, pray­ing for that right man or woman to come.

 

Insecurity causes sickness

 

Do I look like ugly?”, “Why there’s no man want to pur­sue me?”, “Why seems all the woman I approach doesn’t like me?” Ugh, inse­cu­ri­ty kills. I have a lot of them. Inse­cu­ri­ty some­times hid in the form of pride or pity. And most of my inse­cu­ri­ties appeared when­ev­er some­one com­pared me to oth­ers on a per­son­al lev­el.

That’s when you fill the hole in your heart with so many things. Then you became bit­ter with oth­ers who are in a rela­tion­ship.

But I want you to think in a dif­fer­ent way.

 

The Three Seasons of Life

 

There are only three sea­sons a man should have. The sea­son you were study­ing as a stu­dent, the sea­son you worked, the sea­son when you will retire.

The first sea­son, some say that when you were a stu­dent, you have a lot of time and ener­gy but lack of resources. Since stu­dents rely on their par­ents for allowances.

The next sea­son is you have enough mon­ey but lack time. Here’s adult­ing comes in. With so many respon­si­bil­i­ties, we want­ed for a more bal­anced life.

The last sea­son is the sea­son when you have a lot of mon­ey but lack time and ener­gy.

There’s a beau­ty in every sea­son but not every­one is max­i­miz­ing it. Stu­dents often waste their youth by play­ing games, par­ty, drink­ing ses­sions, etc. I’ve been there and done that.

Sin­gle peo­ple often waste their sea­son by still act­ing as a stu­dent or not accept­ing their present sea­son.

Instead of build­ing them­selves up, they keep wish­ing.
Instead of tak­ing respon­si­bil­i­ty they keep get­ting away from it.
Instead of learn­ing how to wait, they set­tled in the com­plex­i­ty of life that could give them any­thing in an instant.

How about the old ones? I don’t think they have enough time to waste. You see most of them max­i­miz­ing the remain­ing years of their lives.

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When I was a stu­dent, I was a gamer. I learned to play com­put­er games when I was 15, became addict­ed to it, I learned to steal and lie because of it. Imag­ine, every time my mom asked me to buy some­thing from the super­mar­ket or gro­cery near­by. I often return to her after an hour because I have to go to the com­put­er shop first!

When I became a young pro­fes­sion­al, I still play those games severe­ly until I was 21. I spent all the mon­ey I earned to make sure my char­ac­ter becomes more pow­er­ful each pain­less pur­chase. I was starv­ing yet my vir­tu­al play­er was pow­er­ful, isn’t iron­ic?

We often waste our time pur­su­ing worth­less pur­suits because we didn’t have the wis­dom how to num­ber our days. You see, peo­ple often make excus­es because they didn’t know their time. For exam­ple, if one per­son told you and he’s com­plain­ing because he can­not save mon­ey, then you told him to set aside 15 to 20% of his salary every month and he will tell you: “I am too young to think about it”, and when he gets old and start­ing to build his own fam­i­ly, “I have to send the kids to school.” And I guess that’s one of the rea­sons why most Fil­ipino can­not save mon­ey.

Teach ourselves to number our days

 

In the Bible, it teach­es us to num­ber our days. It says in Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to real­ize the brevi­ty of life, so that we may grow in wis­dom.”

Brevi­ty means short­ness. Thus, the short­ness of life. The ques­tion relies upon on how do we max­i­mize this life we have?

 

1. Be faith­ful to your sea­son.

Don’t jump in too quick­ly. Each of us has dif­fer­ent time zones, don’t envy other’s time zone.

Imag­ine your life as a book. And an author wrote it. For instance, I am writ­ing a nov­el. Joseph was my main char­ac­ter for this nov­el project. While Joseph while doing some­thing, some­one called him out­side. (that’s his time) but it doesn’t mean I have the same time­zone as Joseph has. I can write and fin­ish the nov­el for hours and moved on to anoth­er nov­el project which has a dif­fer­ent main char­ac­ter.

Hence, I am, as an author was out­side of my character’s time zone. What seems days and years for Joseph was only the present for me. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but I believe that is how God oper­ates in our lives.

In every sea­son of our lives, for God, it is all hap­pen­ing at the same time because He is out­side our time. Know­ing that God puts us inside the time and He watch­es us, we should be faith­ful in our sea­son.

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2. Have goals with dead­lines.

Zig Ziglar once said, “If you aim at noth­ing you will hit it every time.”

A goal with­out a dead­line is mere­ly a wish. It’s hard to hit a dead­line, but it makes us grow even more. For me, even the jour­ney of achiev­ing that goal will be painful and dif­fi­cult, I press on towards that goal because I know if I was able to achieve that, it will bring ful­fill­ment to me and I def­i­nite­ly grow as a per­son.

Wait a minute, why should I have goals and set a dead­line for each of them when you said in the pre­vi­ous item that God has already ordained what will hap­pen. Can I just rely on him and slack off any­time I want?

First, God is not a sort of dic­ta­tor or some­one who con­trols a pup­pet. He cre­at­ed mankind not to con­trol them but for His own plea­sure. For the sake of illus­tra­tion, imag­ine an artist who paint­ed his mas­ter­piece. Any­one can see it, any­one can touch it, He can even show it the world that he is proud of it but he has no con­trol what peo­ple will do with it. At the same time, God cre­at­ed us for His own plea­sure. Though He cre­at­ed us in his own image and like­ness, we are not like Him. He gave us the free will in order that we can love Him gen­uine­ly and vol­un­tar­i­ly. True love is vol­un­tary, so in order for us to be capa­ble of lov­ing God, we also had to be capa­ble of some­thing else, includ­ing rebellion/sin. A lov­ing rela­tion­ship must be a free-rela­tion­ship. Would you like to be in a rela­tion­ship that some­one con­trols how you do every­thing?

So, even though God knew what choic­es we would make, if He actu­al­ly want­ed peo­ple to love him, then He had to give them the chance to do so. Oth­er­wise, our entire exis­tence would have been mere­ly a thought exper­i­ment that didn’t turn out well—but that’s not why God cre­at­ed human­i­ty. He want­ed us to know and love Him.

3. Embrace fail­ures.

Of course, life is not only about suc­cess, achieve­ments, and joy. With­out fail­ure, we will not know what it likes to be suc­cess­ful. In the same way, with­out suf­fer­ing we will not know what it feels to be hap­py.

Life is not as smooth sail­ing as it is. You will meet chal­lenges along the way and you will fail every now and then.

SEE ALSO:  3 Reasons Why We Don't Set Goals

But if you know that an Author has writ­ten already your sto­ry, what a com­fort it brings to see life in a brighter per­spec­tive.

This reminds me of God’s plan for humankind ever since the very begin­ning of this world.

When the earth was only full of waters and there was only dark­ness, God made an expanse to sep­a­rate waters and the heav­ens and cre­at­ed the land in the mid­dle of it. Then he cre­at­ed birds of all kinds and ani­mals of all kinds.

And he cre­at­ed man and woman out of the dust naked and vul­ner­a­ble but they don’t feel it because they were sus­tained and being warmed by the pres­ence of God. And God gave them the com­mand to “fill the earth.”

The first man and woman failed and sin against God because a ser­pent deceived them to dis­obey God. Well, it doesn’t hap­pen very quick­ly. The ser­pent (sym­bol for God’s ene­my) has to twists and made God a liar, self­ish and a dic­ta­tor who doesn’t want His crea­ture to be like Him.

The ene­my knows when to attack the man and woman and that’s when they are out of the pres­ence of God. Remem­ber they are vul­ner­a­ble and only sus­tained by God.

But despite that, God is so gra­cious. The mankind when pun­ished, do all sorts of things to reach God and attempt­ed to be like God but they failed. God brought chaos not because He wants it, but because He wants to restore every­thing in order.

Remem­ber the com­mand “fill the earth”? It won’t hap­pen if God allows all mankind to live in the same loca­tion and speaks the same lan­guage.

The same sto­ry He has for us will con­tin­ue to hap­pen to reminds us that it all starts with Him and every­thing will end with Him.




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I blog about my dis­cov­er­ies and learn­ings with per­son­al devel­op­ment, blog­ging, writ­ing, pub­lic speak­ing, and pub­lish­ing. I am a Jesus fol­low­er. Each month, I send out a newslet­ter with free tips on those top­ics.

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