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In the end only three things mat­ter; how much you loved, how gen­tly you lived and how grace­ful­ly you let go of the things not meant for you”

— Bud­dha

Admit it or not, it is not eas­i­ly to let go of the things or peo­ple espe­cial­ly when you’ve become attached to it or to them.

No mat­ter who you are and what you have become, you can lose every­thing in just a snap of a fin­ger. You can lose your job, your busi­ness, your prop­er­ties, your invest­ments, your prop­er­ties and even your friends, fam­i­ly and health.

The rea­son we become attached to cer­tain things in life is because most of us seek sta­bil­i­ty in every area in our life. We seek sta­bil­i­ty beyond our exis­tence.

We become eas­i­ly attached to a per­son that we can­not even let them go because of the fear of not see­ing them any­more when they leave. Some peo­ple can­not let go because they are still hop­ing and expect­ing that some­how they will end up with them in the end.

The same thing to our job, most peo­ple can­not leave their job even they don’t like it is because they’ve become attached on what they can take from it. That if they let it go, they might not even get anoth­er good job that can sus­tain their finan­cial respon­si­bil­i­ties.

That’s why it takes courage to let go. It is not easy and it requires faith. Hav­ing the faith in the process and believ­ing that even it is painful, it will going to be worth it in the end. Jesus nev­er became attached to any­thing or any­one. In fact after his min­istry on the earth, he nev­er failed to encour­age his fol­low­ers to keep his com­mand­ments and to fol­low God with all of their hearts. We can see also Jesus will­ful­ly sur­ren­dered to the will of the Father even it will cost his life, he was not attached to the world because he had the faith on the one who have sent him.

There­fore, let­ting go is a coura­geous act of sur­ren­der. It is a pow­er­ful act when we let go of the things we are hang­ing onto. Remem­ber the first time you sur­ren­der your life to Christ?, it is not an act of fear, it is a coura­geous act of telling God that you are will­ing to sur­ren­der every­thing that you have to his lord­ship.

It’s when you let go of some­thing you are hold­ing onto, you are leav­ing the things of the past, you are leav­ing the peo­ple behind that have caused pain to you, the peo­ple who broke your heart and the things that is not going to help you to reach your goals and aspi­ra­tions in life.

The rea­son we can­not move on because we are not mak­ing deci­sion to let go. I have expe­ri­ences in the past that I am hav­ing the strug­gle to let go because I was hop­ing, I was expect­ing but in turn, it has no ben­e­fit on me. I just let myself to retold the sto­ry of pain again and again to myself. I real­ized that when we are hold­ing on to some­thing that is not meant for us, it is also known as attach­ment.

SEE ALSO:  How To Change The Past?

And many of us get con­fuse love with attach­ment. Yas­min Moga­hed said; “Love with­out attach­ment is the purest love because it is not about what oth­ers can give you because you are emp­ty, it is about what you can give to oth­ers because you are already full”.

We get attached because we think self­ish­ly. We become attached to peo­ple because we fear that they are going to leave us, that one day we will be left alone. You can love all the way, but don’t get attached. Let your­self to love and let go, be grate­ful for every­thing, cher­ish every moment you have. Nev­er regret, if it’s good then it’s won­der­ful, if it’s bad then it’s expe­ri­ence. Don’t allow neg­a­tiv­i­ty to hin­der you from let­ting go.

What­ev­er is caus­ing pain to you right now, remind your­self that it is only tem­po­rary. Don’t allow your­self to suf­fer because suf­fer­ing only comes from retelling your­self again and again about the pain.

There was an old zen para­ble that has been retold in chil­dren’s book Zen Shorts by Jon Muth that I want to share with you that speaks to the ways we hold on to the things we get attached.

Two trav­el­ing monks reached a town where there was a young woman wait­ing to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep pud­dles and she could­n’t step across with­out spoil­ing her silken robes. She stood there, look­ing very impa­tient. She was scold­ing her atten­dants. They had nowhere to place the pack­ages they held for her, so they could­n’t have the chance to help her.

The younger monk noticed the woman and just passed by. The old­er monk quick­ly picked her up and put her on his back and trans­port­ed her across the water and put her down on the oth­er side but the woman did­n’t thank the old­er monk. She just shoved him out of the way and depart­ed.

As the younger monk and old­er monk con­tin­ued on their way, the young monk was brood­ing and pre­oc­cu­pied. After sev­er­al hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. He said to old­er monk “that woman back there was very self­ish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and car­ried her! Then she didn’t even thank you!”

I set the woman down hours ago and you are still car­ry­ing her?” the old­er monk replied.

Some­times we are just the younger monk, we are pre­oc­cu­pied with the things in the past, that we could­n’t even let go of it and we still want to talk about it over and over again. While the old­er monk dis­played great wis­dom and grate­ful­ness in life as he chose to let go of the woman instead.

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We can think that the author of the para­ble might not have the idea what the cul­ture they have because in Bud­dhist nations, it is unlaw­ful for a woman to talk to a monk because they will become unclean but regard­less of the cul­ture, we can learn a lot of lessons from it.

What are the things are you still car­ry­ing that you should have laid down a long ago?

Some­times the things that we should have laid down ago are the things that pre­vent us from becom­ing a chan­nel of bless­ings. Let go, laid it down and let good things flow to you and through you as you live.

Before I end this blog, I would like to leave you with a poem writ­ten by Charles Swin­doll in his book The Grace Awak­en­ing:

To let go doesn’t mean to stop car­ing,
it means I can’t do it for some­one else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it’s the real­iza­tion that I can’t con­trol anoth­er.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learn­ing from nat­ur­al con­se­quences.
To let go is to admit pow­er­less­ness,
which means the out­come is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame anoth­er,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be sup­port­ive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow anoth­er to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the mid­dle arrang­ing all the out­comes,
but to allow oth­ers to effect their own out­comes.
To let go is not to be pro­tec­tive,
but to per­mit anoth­er to face real­i­ty.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own short­com­ings and to cor­rect them.
To let go is not to adjust every­thing to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes.
To let go is not to crit­i­cize and reg­u­late any­one,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

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I blog about my dis­cov­er­ies and learn­ings with per­son­al devel­op­ment, blog­ging, writ­ing, pub­lic speak­ing, and pub­lish­ing. I am a Jesus fol­low­er. Each month, I send out a newslet­ter with free tips on those top­ics.

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