3 Great Reasons Why You Should Join Singles Getaway

Been a long time I haven’t write any­thing on this blog. Adult­ing is so hard and tir­ing. I wish I could go back to my writ­ing habits but not this time.
 
I just start­ed as a new employ­ee at Shell (Con­grat­u­la­tions to me!) and of course, with great salary and ben­e­fits comes with great respon­si­bil­i­ty) just in case you won­der why I’ve been so busy these past few months and you didn’t get any­thing new from this blog.
 
I just wrote this blog to encour­age my fel­low Sin­gles in our church to join us for our upcom­ing Sin­gles Get­away! If you don’t know what #MAP means, it stands for Metro East, Antipo­lo, and Pasig con­gre­ga­tions.
 
In fact, I’ve been into two dif­fer­ent sin­gles retreat. First one was in Bora­cay and the last one was in Batan­gas (4 years ago). I’ve learned a lot and met a lot of peo­ple whom I call now as friends.
 
The Sin­gles Get­away this year will be on July 19–21, so if you haven’t signed up yet, let me share with you three great rea­sons why you should! This blog was inspired by an arti­cle in Act Like A Man.
 
 
 
1. Meet new friends.
 
There is no bet­ter way to meet new friends (I mean real friends who will stick clos­er than a brother/sister) than in the spir­i­tu­al fam­i­ly.
 
Back in 2013, I only have a hand­ful of friends, I was a dead kid who was so reluc­tant to meet new peo­ple.
 
What made me decide to final­ly join? Of course my new found fam­i­ly. Know­ing the impor­tance of meet­ing new friends and expand­ing my net­work with­in my spir­i­tu­al fam­i­ly is worth it. I get to know oth­er peo­ple as well who can relate to my dai­ly life as a young pro­fes­sion­al.
 
The friends you will meet here are for life! They can sure­ly help you to ful­fill your call­ing. There are no acci­dents when it comes to rela­tion­ships. Today, some of these friends I’ve met from two sin­gles retreats were mar­ried and have their own fam­i­lies already and I am proud to say that I can freely come to them for account­abil­i­ty, career coach­ing and love life tips (wink wink).
 
 
 
 
2. You need a break!
 
Come on! This is a retreat! You need some relax­ation and learn to chill after all the stress in your pro­fes­sion­al life.
 
This get­away is not only a way for you to escape from the real­i­ty of adult­ing life. This event will also allow you to learn while you are on a break! If you are a learn­er like me or I pre­fer call­ing myself as a “sem­i­nar­ista” ( a per­son who loves learn­ing by attend­ing con­fer­ences and sem­i­nars and train­ing for the sake of learn­ing and per­son­al improve­ment) this is for you!
 
 
 
 
3. A pow­er­ful ses­sion with Den­nis Sy and his wife, Tham­mie Sy.
 
Pas­tor Den­nis Sy is the author of Act Like A Man Book and Rich for Life. He is also the founder of Act Like A Man Philip­pines. I learned a lot from this man and I am always look­ing for­ward to hear from him.
 
I get to know him when I was just start­ing to walk my new found rela­tion­ship with God. I often lis­ten to his pod­cast as I don’t have a church to attend yet. From there I fol­lowed his blogs and read it as soon there’s new blog com­ing in!
 
I final­ly met this man in one of his book writ­ing train­ing. I’m glad to be men­tored and coached by him in the process of writ­ing my book. And oh, by the way, this man was the first best sell­ing author who expressed inter­est in buy­ing the first book I wrote! Haha.
 
With his wis­dom and expe­ri­ences, you can learn a lot. Get prac­ti­cal insights from him that you wouldn’t want to miss, espe­cial­ly in the area of rela­tion­ships, work, man­hood, mar­riage, and max­i­miz­ing this sea­son we have!
 
I am so excit­ed to meet him again! I’m a big fan of his blogs and (hope­ful­ly if God allows me to have a part­ner) I can talk with him and his wife on a date. Haha (wink wink).
 
We will also be hav­ing oth­er speak­ers for sure. So as ear­ly as now, pre­pare your ques­tions that have been lin­ger­ing on your mind for years because I am sure they are ready to answer it!
 
What are you wait­ing for? Get your slot now!
 
To reserve your slot/pay. Vis­it the Sin­gles Get­away Booth this week­end in which you are locat­ed. If you are from Antipo­lo, go to Vic­to­ry Antipo­lo and vice ver­sa.
 
See you there!

12 Lessons 2017 Taught Me

The year 2017 has nev­er been that easy. There was a lot of ups and downs, new expe­ri­ences, met new friends, start­ed a new career and what­ev­er it is, 2017 was indeed an amaz­ing year for all of us. And wow! time flies so fast and 2017 is almost over. As we are about to enter a new year, I would like to share with you the 12 lessons 2017 taught me. It is 12 because my plan­ner allowed me to enter the lessons I learned every month and here are the fol­low­ing:

 

1. Be edu­cat­ed, always invest in your growth fund because when you change, it affects the sur­round­ing peo­ple.

Jeff Rich once said, “If you think edu­ca­tion is expen­sive, try igno­rance.”

Edu­ca­tion, could it be aca­d­e­m­ic or per­son­al, con­tributes so much growth in our per­son­al lives. John Maxwell, in his 21 Laws of Lead­er­ship, he men­tioned that every­one has their own lids but a few peo­ple rec­og­nize it.

I learned that we are the only one capa­ble of lift­ing our own lids. Lids that lim­its us to our poten­tial. And to remove that lids we need to grow, thus be edu­cat­ed, invest in your learn­ing.

Before I thought that edu­ca­tion was mere­ly a waste of time, I hat­ed going to col­lege, I even asked my teacher what would I do with alge­bra? Can I use that when I am work­ing already? I am wrong, When I was 21, my eyes have opened to the real­i­ty that we will not grow if we will not edu­cate our­selves. When I say edu­cate our­selves, what I mean is; self-edu­ca­tion, because aca­d­e­m­ic edu­ca­tion can teach so many the­o­ries but you can’t apply all of them in our own lives.

Do not ven­ture into some­thing you do not know.

See 8 Habits of High­ly Influ­en­tial Peo­ple

 

2. Rela­tion­al uni­ty is not built on chem­istry and com­mon­al­i­ty but on Jesus.

Our cul­ture dic­tates us that in order to be unit­ed, we must have in com­mon. As the old proverb said, “birds of the same feath­er flock togeth­er.” It might be true but not always. Being a Chris­t­ian is a call to fol­low Jesus’ exam­ple.

In my pre­vi­ous trips abroad, meet­ing a stranger who hap­pened to be a Chris­t­ian as well makes every­thing so easy.

We may have dif­fer­ent back­grounds, sto­ries behind and, inter­ests, in Chris­tian­i­ty, Jesus is the com­mon denom­i­na­tor.

The his­to­ry can tell us more about it. It is Chris­tians who first start­ed non-prof­it orga­ni­za­tions to help the wid­ow, father­less, and poor. Start­ed hos­pi­tals, schools, and uni­ver­si­ties.

Why? Because Jesus com­mands us to love God with all our hearts, minds, and souls. By means of? By lov­ing our neigh­bor as our­selves.

 

3. The fear of hav­ing not enough par­a­lyzes one’s whole being.

What if they don’t select me because the next per­son is bet­ter than me?
What if she doesn’t like me because I have a dark skin and I do not look like a Kore­an?
What if?…

My answer to that; SO WHAT??

The fear of hav­ing not enough stops us from max­i­miz­ing our poten­tial. So what if they don’t like you? Are you pleas­ing them? So what if she doesn’t like you just the way you are? Boy, you deserve bet­ter than him or her! She doesn’t know your worth and the good life you are offer­ing to her.

 

4. Lead­er­ship is serv­ing.

Con­trary to what the world is say­ing, lead­er­ship is not about posi­tion. Yes, you can be the CEO or the most pow­er­ful man ever lived and respect­ed as a leader in the whole world but if you don’t have an influ­ence on them, you are not real­ly a leader.

A leader remains a leader even he doesn’t have posi­tion or author­i­ty. How do we gain influ­ence? By serv­ing them. We lead to serve oth­ers. As Pas­tor Steve Murell, Pres­i­dent of Every Nation Philip­pines said, “The influ­ence we gain from lead­ing oth­ers should not be the end goal but rather it will be a means to serve.”

 

5. Do not com­plain if you are work­ing eight to ten hours a day and go home and not work on your own goals because you’re tired. YOU ARE NOT TIRED, YOURE UNINSPIRED.

I have a few friends who often asked me how do I man­age to get the most out of my time. I have pas­sion projects; I have projects also needs to be deliv­ered in my cor­po­rate work, church activ­i­ties, sem­i­nars, and events. Well, I’m inspired! If you are inspired to make a change not just in your own life but also in the lives of oth­ers, noth­ing can stop you from doing what you want out of life.

 

6. Courage is not the absence of fear.

I don’t know why I wrote this, but I remem­ber I was prepar­ing for some bat­tle here. I pre­pared for so many years and because I was so inspired I also bought my first car because of it. Let’s move on to next les­son to fig­ure out what hap­pened.

 

7. God can open doors that no one can shut but also He clos­es doors that no one can open it again.

The month of July was a tough one for me. To cut the long sto­ry short, I did not win the bat­tle, I end up defeat­ed. But I know it was also an answered prayer, it is sim­ply not meant for me because I know God meant it for good. Because after that there are so many good things hap­pened.

You may read the whole sto­ry here: When God Closed Doors and Rela­tion­ships

What hap­pened after How to Sur­vive Every Month Finan­cial­ly and Radio Guest­ing at DZME 1530khz Kinse Trenta

 

8. Ever doubt­ed your pur­pose and call­ing in life? Be patient enough with it. God affirms it when it was meant to you and He will do that by sur­pris­ing you with mir­a­cles you nev­er expect­ed to come.

August was a month of unex­pect­ed bless­ings. I was able to com­plete my funds need­ed for the trip, and also my arti­cle has gone viral in social media, not only that, I was also invit­ed in a radio sta­tion for a guest inter­view.

God is so amaz­ing. I was still hurt­ing (but not that much) at that time but God did amaz­ing things to divert my atten­tion, time and ener­gy to bet­ter things that are ahead of me.

 

9. Be sen­si­tive.

It was com­pli­cat­ed to tell here but I learned that some­times I am insen­si­tive. I need­ed to make a con­scious effort to watch my words and actions.

I even wrote it as my action plan next year. To smile to every­one I will meet and greet them, elim­i­nat­ing crit­i­cism from my sys­tem, to always give appre­ci­a­tion and praise instead of con­dem­na­tion, and to be sen­si­tive to oth­er person’s view­point.

 

10. Not all bat­tles are worth fight­ing for.

Pick your bat­tles wise­ly. Not every con­flict is worth turn­ing into a major bat­tle. There are cer­tain bat­tles in which sim­ply can­not be won no mat­ter how much effort you put into it or what strate­gies you use.

 

11. God is not a god of con­fu­sion. He made all things beau­ti­ful and in order.

My dili­gent prayers have answered and what I have been search­ing for has been found for God affirmed where I must go.

For years I am pray­ing and dis­cern­ing God’s will for me. I felt that I was called to a full-time min­istry, but I felt I was also called in the mar­ket­place. After my third mis­sion trip, God has already affirmed it. I was called not in the full-time min­istry but in pub­lic speak­ing.

And last,

 

12. This year has a lot of sur­pris­es on its own. Be expec­tant and be more hope­ful for the next com­ing year!

Time to stop, reflect, and eval­u­ate what hap­pened through­out the year. And write what must stop, and must con­tin­ue but don’t for­get to start!

Have a Mer­ry Christ­mas and Hap­py New Year! Enjoy the most won­der­ful time of the year with your fam­i­ly and friends!

How about you?  What are the great­est lessons you learned in 2017? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share in the com­ments on the blog or just hit reply.

Notes from the Book: How To Pick A Spouse by Dan Chun

I just got back from the habit of fin­ish­ing a book in one month. And there was a day I was look­ing for a book to read from my book­shelf. And voila! I saw Pas­tor Dan Chun’s book about how to pick spouse and it sounds inter­est­ing. So I read it.

I believe that there are three major deci­sions in life that we have to make.

Mas­ter: To whom will I ded­i­cate my life?
Mis­sion: What is my pur­pose or pas­sion in life?
Mate: Who will be my spouse?

To whom will I ded­i­cate my life? If you can answer this ques­tion, the chances are you are on the right path. If you know who your Mas­ter is, in my case, it’s Christ. It will be easy for me to know what I was made for and my core val­ues.

But for the spouse, it’s hard. Because it’s crit­i­cal. It will make or break your future. So seek coun­sel from your friends and pray.

Now, have you ever ask your­self what kind of spouse are you look­ing for? In real­i­ty, it wasn’t easy. It takes a vil­lage to find a spouse!

In Proverbs 31:10 says “A good woman is hard to find and worth far more than dia­monds.”

With lots of infor­ma­tion from the inter­net and sen­sa­tion­al­ist, and new age speak­ers who always talks about the roman­tic rela­tion­ships just like the Mr. Speak­er told the young girl to just say yes to the per­son, how will I know if that is right? Are there any guide­lines that we can fol­low?

For­tu­nate­ly, there is. So stop lis­ten­ing to those speak­ers whose try­ing to per­suade you that there is a per­fect for­mu­la to have a good mar­riage or rela­tion­ship because the Bible itself talks a lot about it. I’m not going to share Bible vers­es here and bom­bard you with the­o­log­i­cal con­cepts, I’m just shar­ing you some prac­ti­cal guide­lines from Dan Chun’s book in which most of them came from the Bible.

1. Don’t get mar­ried to be ful­filled. Get mar­ried to ful­fill the oth­er per­son.

Mar­riage is not about find­ing the one who will com­plete you. If you com­bine two less lone­ly peo­ple in the world, you will get two lone­ly peo­ple, it’s not fine, right? Jesus is the only one who can com­plete you.

2. To be lone­ly as a sin­gle is bet­ter than being lone­ly as a mar­ried. It’s painful to be lone­ly inside a mar­riage. 

Here some of the ways you can max­i­mize your sea­son as a sin­gle per­son.

3. Mar­ry­ing the wrong per­son can be very, very hard.

4. Be the per­son you want to mar­ry. Work on the things you need to deal with before mar­riage.

The ques­tion is not what I like or what are my stan­dards, the ques­tion should be, Am I becom­ing the per­son I want to mar­ry? Am I becom­ing the per­son in my own stan­dards for my poten­tial spouse?

5. The great­est advan­tage you have in find­ing a spouse is know­ing your­self.

6. No one will ever fill the void you have for the love you want or need. Only God can do that.

7. Here’s where my 3 C’s come to play in: Char­ac­ter, Com­pe­ten­cy, Con­ver­sa­tions. Look for these three things.

Char­ac­ter: is the per­son has a good char­ac­ter? How does he or she deal with pres­sure? Did he or she burst out in anger over small things? How do he or she react to dif­fi­cult sit­u­a­tions?

Com­pe­ten­cy: Is this per­son has a job? How he or she is with it? Can he or she remain on the job longer? Can he or she mas­ter a skill? Or he or she is lazy and incom­pe­tent?

Con­ver­sa­tions: Rela­tion­ship is all about com­mu­ni­ca­tion. If the per­son loves to argue, not lis­ten­ing and seems not inter­est­ed to hear what you say and your sto­ries, move on. Find a per­son whom you can talk to for hours about any top­ic that come out. If you find a per­son who lis­tens to you, who is inter­est­ed in you and your sto­ries, don’t let go of that per­son.

8. Want to have a great date? Invite the per­son to go on hikes, mis­sion trip or vol­un­teer­ing activ­i­ties. See how the per­son responds to stress and being in the heat where things can go wrong.

9. Mar­ry a lis­ten­er. So much of com­mu­ni­ca­tion is about lis­ten­ing and not talk­ing nor nag­ging.

10. Look for a humil­i­ty in a per­son. Humil­i­ty is a sign of high self-esteem. Why? Here are the rea­sons:

  • They don’t grab glo­ry because they know their self-worth and they need not flaunt it.
  • The feel good about them­selves and don’t care about what peo­ple think about them.
    - They don’t bring down oth­ers to their lev­el just to destroy someone’s rep­u­ta­tion.
  • They also real­ize that their fail­ures result from some­one else’s suc­cess­es.

11. Peo­ple who don’t val­ue someone’s opin­ion are lone rangers. Peo­ple want to know they count. They want to know that they are val­ued and their emo­tions and thoughts.

12. Be will­ing to not always insist on get­ting your own way.

13. For­give­ness is not about con­don­ing a harm­ful act or for­get about the offense. You can’t for­get an offense. For­give­ness is about giv­ing your right to retal­i­ate and leav­ing the judg­ment to God. God knows we can­not han­dle jus­tice well so he offered to leave it to Him. He knows how to pay­back, God says, “Vengeance is mine.”

14. A per­son is trust­wor­thy when his or her word is like a bond. He or she is a promise keep­er, not a promise break­er.

And last,

15. The art of find­ing a spouse is not find­ing the right per­son but becom­ing the right per­son. It is not about what will you get from him or her but what can I offer to him or her?

All right! I hope you find some­thing valu­able from it. If you want to read his book, it is avail­able on Ama­zon and some book­stores in the Philip­pines.

Let me leave you with a quote from Alfred Adler, “Fol­low your heart but take your brain with you.”

Feel free to share this with your friends who are going to mar­ry or on the sea­son of look­ing for a spouse.

Maximize Your Season

Last week, Mon­day, I spent my hol­i­day togeth­er with my friends and new found friends inside the com­mu­ni­ty of sin­gles from our church.

Twas a whole day of fun and get­ting to know some of them through ask­ing ques­tions and play­ing games with them. As they said, you can only know the peo­ple for who they are by play­ing games with them.

When Singleness becomes a sickness

 

For so many years that I’ve been a Chris­t­ian and spend­ing time and min­is­ter­ing to some sin­gle men for years, and observ­ing some of my friends who are sin­gle, most of them thought that sin­gle­ness is a sick­ness.

Whether be it a sin­gle man or women, count­less of them hop­ing they are in a rela­tion­ship with some­one, pray­ing for that right man or woman to come.

 

Insecurity causes sickness

 

Do I look like ugly?”, “Why there’s no man want to pur­sue me?”, “Why seems all the woman I approach doesn’t like me?” Ugh, inse­cu­ri­ty kills. I have a lot of them. Inse­cu­ri­ty some­times hid in the form of pride or pity. And most of my inse­cu­ri­ties appeared when­ev­er some­one com­pared me to oth­ers on a per­son­al lev­el.

That’s when you fill the hole in your heart with so many things. Then you became bit­ter with oth­ers who are in a rela­tion­ship.

But I want you to think in a dif­fer­ent way.

 

The Three Seasons of Life

 

There are only three sea­sons a man should have. The sea­son you were study­ing as a stu­dent, the sea­son you worked, the sea­son when you will retire.

The first sea­son, some say that when you were a stu­dent, you have a lot of time and ener­gy but lack of resources. Since stu­dents rely on their par­ents for allowances.

The next sea­son is you have enough mon­ey but lack time. Here’s adult­ing comes in. With so many respon­si­bil­i­ties, we want­ed for a more bal­anced life.

The last sea­son is the sea­son when you have a lot of mon­ey but lack time and ener­gy.

There’s a beau­ty in every sea­son but not every­one is max­i­miz­ing it. Stu­dents often waste their youth by play­ing games, par­ty, drink­ing ses­sions, etc. I’ve been there and done that.

Sin­gle peo­ple often waste their sea­son by still act­ing as a stu­dent or not accept­ing their present sea­son.

Instead of build­ing them­selves up, they keep wish­ing.
Instead of tak­ing respon­si­bil­i­ty they keep get­ting away from it.
Instead of learn­ing how to wait, they set­tled in the com­plex­i­ty of life that could give them any­thing in an instant.

How about the old ones? I don’t think they have enough time to waste. You see most of them max­i­miz­ing the remain­ing years of their lives.

When I was a stu­dent, I was a gamer. I learned to play com­put­er games when I was 15, became addict­ed to it, I learned to steal and lie because of it. Imag­ine, every time my mom asked me to buy some­thing from the super­mar­ket or gro­cery near­by. I often return to her after an hour because I have to go to the com­put­er shop first!

When I became a young pro­fes­sion­al, I still play those games severe­ly until I was 21. I spent all the mon­ey I earned to make sure my char­ac­ter becomes more pow­er­ful each pain­less pur­chase. I was starv­ing yet my vir­tu­al play­er was pow­er­ful, isn’t iron­ic?

We often waste our time pur­su­ing worth­less pur­suits because we didn’t have the wis­dom how to num­ber our days. You see, peo­ple often make excus­es because they didn’t know their time. For exam­ple, if one per­son told you and he’s com­plain­ing because he can­not save mon­ey, then you told him to set aside 15 to 20% of his salary every month and he will tell you: “I am too young to think about it”, and when he gets old and start­ing to build his own fam­i­ly, “I have to send the kids to school.” And I guess that’s one of the rea­sons why most Fil­ipino can­not save mon­ey.

Teach ourselves to number our days

 

In the Bible, it teach­es us to num­ber our days. It says in Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to real­ize the brevi­ty of life, so that we may grow in wis­dom.”

Brevi­ty means short­ness. Thus, the short­ness of life. The ques­tion relies upon on how do we max­i­mize this life we have?

 

1. Be faith­ful to your sea­son.

Don’t jump in too quick­ly. Each of us has dif­fer­ent time zones, don’t envy other’s time zone.

Imag­ine your life as a book. And an author wrote it. For instance, I am writ­ing a nov­el. Joseph was my main char­ac­ter for this nov­el project. While Joseph while doing some­thing, some­one called him out­side. (that’s his time) but it doesn’t mean I have the same time­zone as Joseph has. I can write and fin­ish the nov­el for hours and moved on to anoth­er nov­el project which has a dif­fer­ent main char­ac­ter.

Hence, I am, as an author was out­side of my character’s time zone. What seems days and years for Joseph was only the present for me. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but I believe that is how God oper­ates in our lives.

In every sea­son of our lives, for God, it is all hap­pen­ing at the same time because He is out­side our time. Know­ing that God puts us inside the time and He watch­es us, we should be faith­ful in our sea­son.

2. Have goals with dead­lines.

Zig Ziglar once said, “If you aim at noth­ing you will hit it every time.”

A goal with­out a dead­line is mere­ly a wish. It’s hard to hit a dead­line, but it makes us grow even more. For me, even the jour­ney of achiev­ing that goal will be painful and dif­fi­cult, I press on towards that goal because I know if I was able to achieve that, it will bring ful­fill­ment to me and I def­i­nite­ly grow as a per­son.

Wait a minute, why should I have goals and set a dead­line for each of them when you said in the pre­vi­ous item that God has already ordained what will hap­pen. Can I just rely on him and slack off any­time I want?

First, God is not a sort of dic­ta­tor or some­one who con­trols a pup­pet. He cre­at­ed mankind not to con­trol them but for His own plea­sure. For the sake of illus­tra­tion, imag­ine an artist who paint­ed his mas­ter­piece. Any­one can see it, any­one can touch it, He can even show it the world that he is proud of it but he has no con­trol what peo­ple will do with it. At the same time, God cre­at­ed us for His own plea­sure. Though He cre­at­ed us in his own image and like­ness, we are not like Him. He gave us the free will in order that we can love Him gen­uine­ly and vol­un­tar­i­ly. True love is vol­un­tary, so in order for us to be capa­ble of lov­ing God, we also had to be capa­ble of some­thing else, includ­ing rebellion/sin. A lov­ing rela­tion­ship must be a free-rela­tion­ship. Would you like to be in a rela­tion­ship that some­one con­trols how you do every­thing?

So, even though God knew what choic­es we would make, if He actu­al­ly want­ed peo­ple to love him, then He had to give them the chance to do so. Oth­er­wise, our entire exis­tence would have been mere­ly a thought exper­i­ment that didn’t turn out well—but that’s not why God cre­at­ed human­i­ty. He want­ed us to know and love Him.

3. Embrace fail­ures.

Of course, life is not only about suc­cess, achieve­ments, and joy. With­out fail­ure, we will not know what it likes to be suc­cess­ful. In the same way, with­out suf­fer­ing we will not know what it feels to be hap­py.

Life is not as smooth sail­ing as it is. You will meet chal­lenges along the way and you will fail every now and then.

But if you know that an Author has writ­ten already your sto­ry, what a com­fort it brings to see life in a brighter per­spec­tive.

This reminds me of God’s plan for humankind ever since the very begin­ning of this world.

When the earth was only full of waters and there was only dark­ness, God made an expanse to sep­a­rate waters and the heav­ens and cre­at­ed the land in the mid­dle of it. Then he cre­at­ed birds of all kinds and ani­mals of all kinds.

And he cre­at­ed man and woman out of the dust naked and vul­ner­a­ble but they don’t feel it because they were sus­tained and being warmed by the pres­ence of God. And God gave them the com­mand to “fill the earth.”

The first man and woman failed and sin against God because a ser­pent deceived them to dis­obey God. Well, it doesn’t hap­pen very quick­ly. The ser­pent (sym­bol for God’s ene­my) has to twists and made God a liar, self­ish and a dic­ta­tor who doesn’t want His crea­ture to be like Him.

The ene­my knows when to attack the man and woman and that’s when they are out of the pres­ence of God. Remem­ber they are vul­ner­a­ble and only sus­tained by God.

But despite that, God is so gra­cious. The mankind when pun­ished, do all sorts of things to reach God and attempt­ed to be like God but they failed. God brought chaos not because He wants it, but because He wants to restore every­thing in order.

Remem­ber the com­mand “fill the earth”? It won’t hap­pen if God allows all mankind to live in the same loca­tion and speaks the same lan­guage.

The same sto­ry He has for us will con­tin­ue to hap­pen to reminds us that it all starts with Him and every­thing will end with Him.

Don’t Measure Your Failure By What Others Have

 

Last July, I met with a friend and a men­tor, his name is Jesse, a fel­low toast­mas­ter, a speak­er, and a finan­cial plan­ner. We talk a lot about dif­fer­ent things and what’s going on with our lives, what’s my plan, what are my dreams and aspi­ra­tions. He even asked me when I could leave the cor­po­rate life.

Well, If it was not for the mis­sion that God gave to stay in the mar­ket­place for this sea­son and with the present real­i­ty of my life that I have bills to pay, and dream house to build, I wouldn’t stay any longer. My advice is that take it step by step.

 

Wishful Thinking

And then a thought came while lis­ten­ing to him that this per­son has achieved more than what I have achieved. Then in our cir­cles, one of my friends also at a young age became a CEO of a com­pa­ny. Wow! I am so priv­i­leged that God has brought me to learn from this peo­ple. But then, I became inse­cure; I wish I have start­ed ear­ly. I wish I have learned these things at a young age. How I wish, I did not apply for a job when I was a fresh grad­u­ate but rather start a busi­ness on my own. Ugh, wish­ful think­ing.

Can you relate?. How ter­ri­ble the feel­ing was when you are being sur­round­ed with suc­cess­ful peo­ple that you thought about your own fail­ures and what have you done in your life.

 

There is no wasted time for God

Then what he told me blew me away. He said, “Dhenn, it is not because you failed, or you missed the mark at that age, it’s just that at that young age, their sea­son has come. In every­thing, there is a sea­son right? A time to reap and a time to sow. Per­haps the time they were reap­ing, you were sow­ing expe­ri­ences.”

He remind­ed me that there is no wast­ed time for God. He caused all things to hap­pen at the right time. He caused all things to hap­pen to work togeth­er for our good whether it is bad, painful or not.

Then I remem­ber anoth­er friend came and said, “I’m so glad that God is doing great things in your life. I see some of it and He caused you to increase in every way but as I saw your life, I doubt­ed what God is doing in my life. I became full of doubt whether I am walk­ing accord­ing to His will or even ful­fill­ing the call­ing He has for me. I had not the same suc­cess as you are.”

 

You are not me

I looked at him and asked him, “Do you think you will still full of doubts and it would feel you bet­ter if you see me liv­ing a ter­ri­ble life and had been doing much worse in the past few years?” “Of course not.” He respond­ed.

I said, “Sor­ry but I didn’t mean to offend you but your think­ing is flawed. You said the oth­er was true but the sec­ond is not. If the oth­er is true, what I said must be true, because you are com­par­ing your­self to me.”

What hap­pens in my life and what God will do with it has noth­ing to do with what God is doing in your life. You are not me, and I am not you.” I added.

 

Focus on what God is doing in your life

I remem­ber a sto­ry of an employ­ee who was con­stant­ly com­plain­ing that man­age­ment is cor­rupt not lis­ten­ing to its employ­ees and some of his col­leagues are lazy and unpro­duc­tive. And then he set a meet­ing with his man­ag­er about it.

All the way down, the man­ag­er lis­tened to his com­plaints. Then the man­ag­er asked a favor from him. “Before you leave, can you give me two full glass of water, please?. Make sure there’s no spill will get into the floor not even a lit­tle.”

The employ­ee came back and gave the glass­es to the man­ag­er. Then the man­ag­er asked him, “While you were walk­ing with both of your hands have full water of glass, do you see any employ­ees who are unpro­duc­tive? Do you see any of them gos­sip­ing around? Do you see the man­age­ment scold­ing oth­er employ­ees?” “No there’s none.” The employ­ee respond­ed.

You will find that God rarely uses peo­ple whose pri­ma­ry con­cern is what oth­ers are doing. When God told Noah to build an ark, Noah did what God has told of Him, he didn’t com­plain that peo­ple are not believ­ing him.

Judg­ing oth­ers is a major waste of time. It halts progress. I’ve met and seen peo­ple doing that. They think they are doing bet­ter than the aver­age per­son in which it makes them an aver­age per­son.

It doesn’t mean that they don’t have what you have, doesn’t mean they are not suc­cess­ful. Your faults will nev­er van­ish by call­ing atten­tion to the fault of oth­ers. In the same way, it doesn’t mean you don’t have what they have, doesn’t mean they are more suc­cess­ful than you are.

Don’t let oth­ers define your suc­cess. Don’t let oth­er peo­ple tell you what you want. No one can build him­self upon the faith or expe­ri­ence of anoth­er per­son.

Don’t mea­sure your Fail­ure as a per­son by what oth­ers have, and your suc­cess by what oth­ers haven’t. Keep that in mind.

8 Lessons From 100 Tula Para Kay Stella

Last Sun­day, we watched “100 Tula Para Kay Stel­la”. Yes third-wheel ulit ako though I can watch movies alone. I don’t watch roman­tic movies cause I watch movies unless it will pick my inter­est to do so. But this time, I am deter­mined to watch a local indie movie. I love indies! It depicts the real­i­ty of life. I love the plot, I love the sto­ry of a young man who fell in love with a young woman and wrote poems for her.

I can relate some­how as a cer­ti­fied intro­vert and a tor­pe before, I remem­ber when I was in high school, I wrote a lot of let­ters for my crush in a piece of a note­book. And then I wrote every­thing about her on it. From poems to love let­ters. I know you want to know what hap­pened and to cut the long sto­ry short, I failed to give the note­book to her because I found out she has a boyfriend already. Haha­ha. The note­book? I burned that already.

So while watch­ing the movie, I wrote as much as pos­si­ble lessons that I learned from it. I believe not only in a rela­tion­ship, we can apply these in our dai­ly lives.

Dis­claimer: Images are not mine. If you own any of these don’t hes­i­tate to email me and will give the right­ful own­er­ship to you.

 

1. Tell it upfront.

For men, when you like some­one, first pray about it then tell her when you’re ready to com­mit not when you’re lone­ly.

I like how Fidel wrote poems for her. He invest­ed his emo­tions to Stel­la by fan­ta­siz­ing about her and wrote it in a poem. But he failed to tell her when in fact they have been togeth­er for so many times. He got the chance to tell her when Stel­la has mar­ried to oth­er man and preg­nant already, how dev­as­tat­ing. If he could have told her ear­ly, it might be a hap­py end­ing.

Kaya ikaw brad, pag ready ka na sabi­hin mo na! Women will tell you if they don’t like you by reject­ing you. If they don’t like you, assess your­self. Would you still like her despite the rejec­tion? Then try again after some time, if not, stay away and move on. If you’re wor­ried if you will still be friends after that? Most like­ly it depends on your deci­sion and her deci­sion. But accord­ing to what I have expe­ri­enced, it’s pos­si­ble but close­ness to each oth­er will take time to rebuild.

Just like in our dai­ly lives, we Fil­ipinos are man pleasers by nature. We fear rejec­tion, we don’t like the feel­ing of hurt­ing some­one, we want to be at peace with every­one. But it’s not good most of the time when our friend is doing some­thing wrong. Show care to them by telling them what it is.

In our careers, most man­agers today encour­age open doors. Tell all your con­cerns and com­plaints. Share your career aspi­ra­tions so they know how can they help you.

In every­thing, try to tell it up front. It is bet­ter to be clear so there will be no room for mis­un­der­stand­ing.

 

2. Have a deep­er pur­pose in all that you will do.

Pur­su­ing what you love while you are study­ing is not bad if you know how to man­age your pri­or­i­ties.

I like how Fidel focused on his stud­ies. He want­ed to fin­ish col­lege. He did not allow any oth­er cir­cum­stances to stop him from fin­ish­ing it.  He knows its pur­pose.

Unlike Stel­la who was a stub­born lady. All she wants is her dreams. To be famous, to per­form in front of a large crowd, being applaud­ed by many peo­ple. But for what? I observed that she lacks a deep­er sense of her pur­pose.

It is impor­tant to have a pur­pose in your life. Why do you do what you do? It is bet­ter to know your “why” first. What I mean, the deep­er pur­pose for your exis­tence. A pur­pose that will give you a mis­sion and vision big­ger than your­self.

 

 

3.  You need friends in your dark­est nights.

You need friends whom you will turn to when every­thing goes wrong. I expe­ri­enced the time when I was young that I don’t have friends to turn to. I felt alone, I felt no one loves me.

But thank God, He nev­er let me be alone. Choose the peo­ple whom you want to be asso­ci­at­ed with. They will make or break you. Bad com­pa­ny cor­rupts good char­ac­ter. You become the aver­age of the five peo­ple you spend time with.

 

4. A lost oppor­tu­ni­ty is a lost oppor­tu­ni­ty.

Sayang!” When we lost an oppor­tu­ni­ty we often exclaimed this. But a lost is a lost. But instead of regret­ting it, grab it next time.

 

5. Don’t be a social climber who uses peo­ple to their own advan­tage to achieve your dreams.

Stel­la uses peo­ple to her own advan­tage. She entered a rela­tion­ship with some men as a step towards ful­fill­ment of her dreams.

Don’t be a social climber. Don’t be user-friend­ly. If you want to achieve your dreams, have gen­uine rela­tion­ships with peo­ple who have the same inter­est and dreams as yours, who will help you and you will help as well. Be self-less serve them.

 

6. Don’t let your dreams become your pur­pose for your exis­tence.

Stella’s pur­pose for her exis­tence is her dreams of becom­ing a famous singer. How sad to know that she wasn’t able to achieve her dreams.

It’s okay to have dreams but don’t make it your world. Focus­ing too much on it will lead you to a frus­trat­ed life. Enjoy life, enjoy the jour­ney.

 

7. Some­times you don’t have to be des­per­ate for an oppor­tu­ni­ty. Be ready. As oppor­tu­ni­ty comes not to those who seek it but those who are ready for it.

Fidel doesn’t have plans to become a singer, but one of his class­mates dis­cov­ered that he has a tal­ent for singing. Then he start­ed to have gigs with his band.

Don’t be des­per­ate. If it’s meant for you, it’s for you.

 

8. Don’t make some­one becomes your world.

Fidel revolves his life around Stel­la. He made her his world. I remem­ber what he said to Stel­la: “Corny man sabi­hin, pero ikaw ang mun­do ko.”

To be hon­est, in the past, I made some­one to be my world. Dev­as­tat­ing expe­ri­ence. From there on, I learned not to make some­one my world. Because in the end, a per­son can love you or will be there as long as they can but can­not be with you for­ev­er.

That’s where I learn to make Jesus my world. Every­thing I do revolves around him. He is the rea­son for my exis­tence. He was there before I was born. He knows a lot about myself more than I know myself. He loves me more than any oth­er per­son in this world by giv­ing up His life for me.

To end this blog, I want to leave you one of the best lines from the movie:

This is true in some ways. Ang nakakat­u­luyan natin is yung taong gus­to ni Lord para sa atin.

Have you watched the movie already? Share in the com­ments what you have learned as well! If you haven’t watched, this is the last day, you must watch it!

Till next time.