Is it Possible to Be Perfect?

Per­fec­tion is one thing I used to hate. I used to hate get­ting into details because I always look­ing into the big­ger pic­ture, I used to hate the fact when some­one approach­es me and tell me that my work is lack­ing despite I did all the things I could do because I didn’t see this and all of that and gave me a ser­mon all through­out.

Where was I com­ing from? I’m com­ing from my dom­i­nant self who wants to do the job as pos­si­ble. Noth­ing to brag about but being I’ve been a per­former as an employ­ee not because my work is per­fect, but with my desire and eager­ness to fin­ish my job ahead of the dead­line, but it’s not always the case. Hehe.

Today I want to share some of my per­son­al reflec­tions. As I was read­ing my Bible this morn­ing, a verse from the Scrip­tures hit me hard. It says, “Be ye per­fect, as your Father in heav­en is per­fect.”

Ohh, wait a minute. There’s no per­fect per­son except the Per­son of Jesus Christ. Then how can some­one like me and you to be per­fect? Well, I know some Chris­tians will tell me, “Dhenn it is by the grace of God!” But what is grace for an ordi­nary per­son? How does it work?

I also find a few good peo­ple seems to think about our Lord’s words, “be per­fect” as sort of, “Unless you are per­fect, I will not come to help you.” In that case, we are mere mor­tals and our posi­tion in God is for­ev­er hope­less.

 

I Surrender, I Will Yield

5 years ago, it was Sun­day evening when I fell on my knees inside my room because God was there. I felt Him, I was trem­bling in fear, I was cry­ing for help.

I sur­ren­der!” I exclaimed. If you have Chris­t­ian friends, they often tell you, “Sur­ren­der your life to Jesus.” But what does it mean?

Sur­ren­der­ing to the lord­ship of Christ often means sur­ren­der­ing all of your life, includ­ing your rela­tion­ships, pos­ses­sions, desires, and dreams. But that doesn’t mean He wants all of that, He doesn’t need that because He wants only you, noth­ing less.

Our Lord is not a kill joy Mas­ter. He gave us the free will to do every­thing we want. But I found some­thing more pro­found in this area of sur­ren­der.

 

He will come to help us to be perfect

I think the moment Jesus ordered us to be per­fect, he doesn’t want us to be per­fect as in now na.

It’s impos­si­ble for a mere mor­tal dri­ven by fear, greed, self­ish­ness, hope­less­ness, and pity.

Like oth­er reli­gious world­views, we have today and even some “so-called” Chris­tians are teach­ing self-denial, emp­ty­ing your­self, pos­i­tive psy­chol­o­gy, but I think all of that is good but can­not give an ever­last­ing peace with­in us.

You may find your­self doing sort of cer­e­monies and rit­u­als, and reli­gious wor­ship but you may find your inner-self is start­ing to get angry and angri­er each day like a pris­on­er want­ed to get out of the jail because you think you don’t deserve it. You want to be good to please oth­er peo­ple. Woe to you if it hap­pened to you. A crim­i­nal is much clos­er to God than you.

What Jesus meant by that, I think is like this: “If you sur­ren­der and let me in, the only help I can give you is to help you to become per­fect. You may want to improve your patience, you may want to be good to oth­ers, you may want to live a good life or only heal­ing from the sins you were ashamed of but I will give you noth­ing less.”

Okay, let me explain in a more vivid way.

 

A Dental Procedure

When I was a child, I used to love can­dies. As a result, I often had a toothache. When I grew up, my teeth wasn’t that per­fect­ly align. I look ugly every time I smile, so in order for me to hide that ugly smile, you might often see my old pic­tures hav­ing a seri­ous face.

That’s when my mom asked me to inquire for braces. A piece of mate­r­i­al that can align my teeth per­fect­ly for a short­er amount of time.

The time my den­tist put on the braces, err it was painful. She then she gave me pain reliev­ers to ease it. But she doesn’t stop there. She told me to vis­it her every month to clean my teeth and check it often to make sure the each tooth is mov­ing.

God is like a den­tist if we let Him in. If my den­tist only stopped after putting on the braces to my teeth, prob­a­bly noth­ing will ever change. The change only hap­pens the time I allowed her to cure me, to let her fol­low me up and vis­it her often.

I think God oper­ates us like a den­tist also. Per­haps an archi­tect, engi­neer, a soft­ware devel­op­er, a sales man, a project man­ag­er, etc. In which these jobs don’t stop until their build­ings, soft­ware or prod­uct meet its per­fect con­di­tion. Like God, He doesn’t stop until He sees you as per­fect and blame­less ONLY THEN IF YOU SURRENDER AND LET HIM INTO YOUR LIFE.

 

The Cost

Wait a minute there is a cost? Yes. The den­tal pro­ce­dure has a cost, build­ing a struc­ture has a cost. And of course being per­fect has a cost as well.

Jesus warned peo­ple to count the cost before let­ting Him into their lives. In my view of think­ing, I think if I were Jesus, I would say, “Make no mis­takes, if you let me in, I will make you per­fect.”

So what is the cost? Well here’s what I think the cost. I think Jesus meant this way, “Well you have the free­dom to push me away and I will nev­er change you but if you let me do so, I will make you per­fect though it will make you suf­fer that may cost your life, I will puri­fy you from your sins and it may cost you after death. I will make your heart per­fect, though it may cost you many heartaches. What­ev­er it cost, I will nev­er rest, I will nev­er stop nor let you rest, until you are lit­er­al­ly per­fect, until my Father can say with­out any doubts and reser­va­tion that He is well pleased with you.”

But of course, it is not going to be an instant because I believe that per­fec­tion is pro­gres­sion.

 

Mold Me

I think the first step of being made into per­fec­tion is allow­ing the per­son of Jesus Christ to shape you.

I’ve been hear­ing a bunch of quotes and say­ings that was intend­ed to moti­vate oth­ers by mere­ly say­ing “You are per­fect­ly made by God.” Well, while nothing’s bad about it but for me, it’s just an attempt of feed­ing one’s pride­ful heart.

In the Bible, no one is made per­fect except Christ. Well, Adam and Eve were made per­fect because they are made in the image of God but after they have sinned, the future of all human­i­ty after them wasn’t made in the image of God any­more. All of us and the entire next gen­er­a­tion were made in the image of Adam and Eve, taint­ed by sin.

That’s why you and I can­not claim that we are cre­at­ed in the image of God. We and the rest of human­i­ty were made by Adam and Eve. We don’t pos­sess the same will and inter­est that God has. We maybe “look like” God but not total­ly like God because His image is holy, per­fect, and blame­less.

Now, how God can bring us back to our orig­i­nal image just ask like the image of the Son of God? Through Jesus Christ. Like what I pre­vi­ous­ly said, it takes the Per­son of Christ to mold us back to our orig­i­nal image. But that won’t hap­pen until we allow Him to do it.

For exam­ple, I am your friend. Of course, because I am your friend, you allowed me to a cer­tain degree to have a share in your life. Per­haps you can allow me to meet your fam­i­ly, you can open up to me or share sto­ries you’ve nev­er told to oth­ers. Would you do that to a stranger? Or an acquain­tance? Or a fan? Of course not. That’s why Jesus wants to have a rela­tion­ship with you first. He wants you to trust him ful­ly.

And if you trust him com­plete­ly. Then He will start to mold you. It’s like a gold bar being bent, ham­mered and shape into one’s desired out­put. It’s going to be painful at some point but it’s def­i­nite­ly worth it.

Just imag­ine the pain of hav­ing your braces, you trust your den­tist that she will do every­thing to make your teeth per­fect. But of course, it will be painful. Some­times it’s hard to eat.

Use Me

God rarely uses peo­ple who do not allow Him to mold them first. Of course, God can use you any­time, but God often uses peo­ple dur­ing while He molds them.

It’s like He is test­ing you. “How long will my child put his trust on me? Let me use him for a lit­tle mis­sion I have for him.”

I remem­ber the time when I want­ed to go to mis­sions. That didn’t hap­pen very quick­ly. God used me first to give to the mis­sions. When I say give, not only my time to pray, my time to help mis­sion­ar­ies but also to sup­port them finan­cial­ly.

I don’t know about you. But God for sure wants to use you while He is in the process of mold­ing you. Mold­ing you is not an easy process, it takes your entire life.

You may want to skip this part and may say “God can still mold me and use some­body. ” Alright fine, but with­out allow­ing Him to use you for His pur­pose, you will nev­er be per­fect.

Of course, send­ing comes next.

 

Send Me

God won’t send you if He sees it is not yet good for you. C.S Lewis once said, “God keeps no one wait­ing unless He sees that it is good for him.”

I think God rarely sends peo­ple with­out a weapon, to begin with. He makes sure that the per­son he called was ready, and he was ensur­ing it through the process of mold­ing and using him at the same time.

When was the last time your boss or col­leagues treat you bad­ly? How did you respond to them?

When was the last time you serve oth­ers, do you serve because you want your lead­ers to see you that are serv­ing or they have just told you to serve and you want them to be proud of you, or you want peo­ple to rec­og­nize that you have a good voice and a clever mind, or you serve because you only want to help them car­ry­ing out the task?

That’s where God will eval­u­ate your heart. I think if He is kind of a sort like me who have a check­list, He will have a heart-readi­ness check­list.

Send­ing is one of the most excit­ing parts that God has for you and me. As they said, it is life chang­ing. Yes, def­i­nite­ly! You’ll see more the heart of God not for your church only, not for your fam­i­ly only but His heart for all human­i­ty.

Imag­ine a God who restrained Him­self in one plan­et. Of all the plan­ets in the uni­verse, why on us? Per­haps there maybe anoth­er liv­ing species out­side our uni­verse, who knows? The Bible only tells about how the earth begins and how it will end glo­ri­ous­ly.

A God who restrained Him­self to us, humans that He gave so much impor­tant than any­thing else.

Why is He doing that? It is because…

 

For His Glory

In the begin­ning was God. Every­thing He cre­at­ed was for Him. If that’s the case then prob­a­bly our God is a sort of lunatic and sort of a self­ish child­ish god who cre­at­ed us so that He has a toy to play with.

Of course, that was not the case. Imag­ine our Lord as an artist. We are His mas­ter­piece and He was so obsessed with it and He will do every­thing to make us per­fect and will wait on us until we become like lit­tle Christ.He cre­at­ed us for His own plea­sure.

And no lie was found in their mouth, they are blame­less.” Rev­e­la­tion 14:15

Maximize Your Season

Last week, Mon­day, I spent my hol­i­day togeth­er with my friends and new found friends inside the com­mu­ni­ty of sin­gles from our church.

Twas a whole day of fun and get­ting to know some of them through ask­ing ques­tions and play­ing games with them. As they said, you can only know the peo­ple for who they are by play­ing games with them.

When Singleness becomes a sickness

 

For so many years that I’ve been a Chris­t­ian and spend­ing time and min­is­ter­ing to some sin­gle men for years, and observ­ing some of my friends who are sin­gle, most of them thought that sin­gle­ness is a sick­ness.

Whether be it a sin­gle man or women, count­less of them hop­ing they are in a rela­tion­ship with some­one, pray­ing for that right man or woman to come.

 

Insecurity causes sickness

 

Do I look like ugly?”, “Why there’s no man want to pur­sue me?”, “Why seems all the woman I approach doesn’t like me?” Ugh, inse­cu­ri­ty kills. I have a lot of them. Inse­cu­ri­ty some­times hid in the form of pride or pity. And most of my inse­cu­ri­ties appeared when­ev­er some­one com­pared me to oth­ers on a per­son­al lev­el.

That’s when you fill the hole in your heart with so many things. Then you became bit­ter with oth­ers who are in a rela­tion­ship.

But I want you to think in a dif­fer­ent way.

 

The Three Seasons of Life

 

There are only three sea­sons a man should have. The sea­son you were study­ing as a stu­dent, the sea­son you worked, the sea­son when you will retire.

The first sea­son, some say that when you were a stu­dent, you have a lot of time and ener­gy but lack of resources. Since stu­dents rely on their par­ents for allowances.

The next sea­son is you have enough mon­ey but lack time. Here’s adult­ing comes in. With so many respon­si­bil­i­ties, we want­ed for a more bal­anced life.

The last sea­son is the sea­son when you have a lot of mon­ey but lack time and ener­gy.

There’s a beau­ty in every sea­son but not every­one is max­i­miz­ing it. Stu­dents often waste their youth by play­ing games, par­ty, drink­ing ses­sions, etc. I’ve been there and done that.

Sin­gle peo­ple often waste their sea­son by still act­ing as a stu­dent or not accept­ing their present sea­son.

Instead of build­ing them­selves up, they keep wish­ing.
Instead of tak­ing respon­si­bil­i­ty they keep get­ting away from it.
Instead of learn­ing how to wait, they set­tled in the com­plex­i­ty of life that could give them any­thing in an instant.

How about the old ones? I don’t think they have enough time to waste. You see most of them max­i­miz­ing the remain­ing years of their lives.

When I was a stu­dent, I was a gamer. I learned to play com­put­er games when I was 15, became addict­ed to it, I learned to steal and lie because of it. Imag­ine, every time my mom asked me to buy some­thing from the super­mar­ket or gro­cery near­by. I often return to her after an hour because I have to go to the com­put­er shop first!

When I became a young pro­fes­sion­al, I still play those games severe­ly until I was 21. I spent all the mon­ey I earned to make sure my char­ac­ter becomes more pow­er­ful each pain­less pur­chase. I was starv­ing yet my vir­tu­al play­er was pow­er­ful, isn’t iron­ic?

We often waste our time pur­su­ing worth­less pur­suits because we didn’t have the wis­dom how to num­ber our days. You see, peo­ple often make excus­es because they didn’t know their time. For exam­ple, if one per­son told you and he’s com­plain­ing because he can­not save mon­ey, then you told him to set aside 15 to 20% of his salary every month and he will tell you: “I am too young to think about it”, and when he gets old and start­ing to build his own fam­i­ly, “I have to send the kids to school.” And I guess that’s one of the rea­sons why most Fil­ipino can­not save mon­ey.

Teach ourselves to number our days

 

In the Bible, it teach­es us to num­ber our days. It says in Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to real­ize the brevi­ty of life, so that we may grow in wis­dom.”

Brevi­ty means short­ness. Thus, the short­ness of life. The ques­tion relies upon on how do we max­i­mize this life we have?

 

1. Be faith­ful to your sea­son.

Don’t jump in too quick­ly. Each of us has dif­fer­ent time zones, don’t envy other’s time zone.

Imag­ine your life as a book. And an author wrote it. For instance, I am writ­ing a nov­el. Joseph was my main char­ac­ter for this nov­el project. While Joseph while doing some­thing, some­one called him out­side. (that’s his time) but it doesn’t mean I have the same time­zone as Joseph has. I can write and fin­ish the nov­el for hours and moved on to anoth­er nov­el project which has a dif­fer­ent main char­ac­ter.

Hence, I am, as an author was out­side of my character’s time zone. What seems days and years for Joseph was only the present for me. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but I believe that is how God oper­ates in our lives.

In every sea­son of our lives, for God, it is all hap­pen­ing at the same time because He is out­side our time. Know­ing that God puts us inside the time and He watch­es us, we should be faith­ful in our sea­son.

2. Have goals with dead­lines.

Zig Ziglar once said, “If you aim at noth­ing you will hit it every time.”

A goal with­out a dead­line is mere­ly a wish. It’s hard to hit a dead­line, but it makes us grow even more. For me, even the jour­ney of achiev­ing that goal will be painful and dif­fi­cult, I press on towards that goal because I know if I was able to achieve that, it will bring ful­fill­ment to me and I def­i­nite­ly grow as a per­son.

Wait a minute, why should I have goals and set a dead­line for each of them when you said in the pre­vi­ous item that God has already ordained what will hap­pen. Can I just rely on him and slack off any­time I want?

First, God is not a sort of dic­ta­tor or some­one who con­trols a pup­pet. He cre­at­ed mankind not to con­trol them but for His own plea­sure. For the sake of illus­tra­tion, imag­ine an artist who paint­ed his mas­ter­piece. Any­one can see it, any­one can touch it, He can even show it the world that he is proud of it but he has no con­trol what peo­ple will do with it. At the same time, God cre­at­ed us for His own plea­sure. Though He cre­at­ed us in his own image and like­ness, we are not like Him. He gave us the free will in order that we can love Him gen­uine­ly and vol­un­tar­i­ly. True love is vol­un­tary, so in order for us to be capa­ble of lov­ing God, we also had to be capa­ble of some­thing else, includ­ing rebellion/sin. A lov­ing rela­tion­ship must be a free-rela­tion­ship. Would you like to be in a rela­tion­ship that some­one con­trols how you do every­thing?

So, even though God knew what choic­es we would make, if He actu­al­ly want­ed peo­ple to love him, then He had to give them the chance to do so. Oth­er­wise, our entire exis­tence would have been mere­ly a thought exper­i­ment that didn’t turn out well—but that’s not why God cre­at­ed human­i­ty. He want­ed us to know and love Him.

3. Embrace fail­ures.

Of course, life is not only about suc­cess, achieve­ments, and joy. With­out fail­ure, we will not know what it likes to be suc­cess­ful. In the same way, with­out suf­fer­ing we will not know what it feels to be hap­py.

Life is not as smooth sail­ing as it is. You will meet chal­lenges along the way and you will fail every now and then.

But if you know that an Author has writ­ten already your sto­ry, what a com­fort it brings to see life in a brighter per­spec­tive.

This reminds me of God’s plan for humankind ever since the very begin­ning of this world.

When the earth was only full of waters and there was only dark­ness, God made an expanse to sep­a­rate waters and the heav­ens and cre­at­ed the land in the mid­dle of it. Then he cre­at­ed birds of all kinds and ani­mals of all kinds.

And he cre­at­ed man and woman out of the dust naked and vul­ner­a­ble but they don’t feel it because they were sus­tained and being warmed by the pres­ence of God. And God gave them the com­mand to “fill the earth.”

The first man and woman failed and sin against God because a ser­pent deceived them to dis­obey God. Well, it doesn’t hap­pen very quick­ly. The ser­pent (sym­bol for God’s ene­my) has to twists and made God a liar, self­ish and a dic­ta­tor who doesn’t want His crea­ture to be like Him.

The ene­my knows when to attack the man and woman and that’s when they are out of the pres­ence of God. Remem­ber they are vul­ner­a­ble and only sus­tained by God.

But despite that, God is so gra­cious. The mankind when pun­ished, do all sorts of things to reach God and attempt­ed to be like God but they failed. God brought chaos not because He wants it, but because He wants to restore every­thing in order.

Remem­ber the com­mand “fill the earth”? It won’t hap­pen if God allows all mankind to live in the same loca­tion and speaks the same lan­guage.

The same sto­ry He has for us will con­tin­ue to hap­pen to reminds us that it all starts with Him and every­thing will end with Him.

Don’t Measure Your Failure By What Others Have

 

Last July, I met with a friend and a men­tor, his name is Jesse, a fel­low toast­mas­ter, a speak­er, and a finan­cial plan­ner. We talk a lot about dif­fer­ent things and what’s going on with our lives, what’s my plan, what are my dreams and aspi­ra­tions. He even asked me when I could leave the cor­po­rate life.

Well, If it was not for the mis­sion that God gave to stay in the mar­ket­place for this sea­son and with the present real­i­ty of my life that I have bills to pay, and dream house to build, I wouldn’t stay any longer. My advice is that take it step by step.

 

Wishful Thinking

And then a thought came while lis­ten­ing to him that this per­son has achieved more than what I have achieved. Then in our cir­cles, one of my friends also at a young age became a CEO of a com­pa­ny. Wow! I am so priv­i­leged that God has brought me to learn from this peo­ple. But then, I became inse­cure; I wish I have start­ed ear­ly. I wish I have learned these things at a young age. How I wish, I did not apply for a job when I was a fresh grad­u­ate but rather start a busi­ness on my own. Ugh, wish­ful think­ing.

Can you relate?. How ter­ri­ble the feel­ing was when you are being sur­round­ed with suc­cess­ful peo­ple that you thought about your own fail­ures and what have you done in your life.

 

There is no wasted time for God

Then what he told me blew me away. He said, “Dhenn, it is not because you failed, or you missed the mark at that age, it’s just that at that young age, their sea­son has come. In every­thing, there is a sea­son right? A time to reap and a time to sow. Per­haps the time they were reap­ing, you were sow­ing expe­ri­ences.”

He remind­ed me that there is no wast­ed time for God. He caused all things to hap­pen at the right time. He caused all things to hap­pen to work togeth­er for our good whether it is bad, painful or not.

Then I remem­ber anoth­er friend came and said, “I’m so glad that God is doing great things in your life. I see some of it and He caused you to increase in every way but as I saw your life, I doubt­ed what God is doing in my life. I became full of doubt whether I am walk­ing accord­ing to His will or even ful­fill­ing the call­ing He has for me. I had not the same suc­cess as you are.”

 

You are not me

I looked at him and asked him, “Do you think you will still full of doubts and it would feel you bet­ter if you see me liv­ing a ter­ri­ble life and had been doing much worse in the past few years?” “Of course not.” He respond­ed.

I said, “Sor­ry but I didn’t mean to offend you but your think­ing is flawed. You said the oth­er was true but the sec­ond is not. If the oth­er is true, what I said must be true, because you are com­par­ing your­self to me.”

What hap­pens in my life and what God will do with it has noth­ing to do with what God is doing in your life. You are not me, and I am not you.” I added.

 

Focus on what God is doing in your life

I remem­ber a sto­ry of an employ­ee who was con­stant­ly com­plain­ing that man­age­ment is cor­rupt not lis­ten­ing to its employ­ees and some of his col­leagues are lazy and unpro­duc­tive. And then he set a meet­ing with his man­ag­er about it.

All the way down, the man­ag­er lis­tened to his com­plaints. Then the man­ag­er asked a favor from him. “Before you leave, can you give me two full glass of water, please?. Make sure there’s no spill will get into the floor not even a lit­tle.”

The employ­ee came back and gave the glass­es to the man­ag­er. Then the man­ag­er asked him, “While you were walk­ing with both of your hands have full water of glass, do you see any employ­ees who are unpro­duc­tive? Do you see any of them gos­sip­ing around? Do you see the man­age­ment scold­ing oth­er employ­ees?” “No there’s none.” The employ­ee respond­ed.

You will find that God rarely uses peo­ple whose pri­ma­ry con­cern is what oth­ers are doing. When God told Noah to build an ark, Noah did what God has told of Him, he didn’t com­plain that peo­ple are not believ­ing him.

Judg­ing oth­ers is a major waste of time. It halts progress. I’ve met and seen peo­ple doing that. They think they are doing bet­ter than the aver­age per­son in which it makes them an aver­age per­son.

It doesn’t mean that they don’t have what you have, doesn’t mean they are not suc­cess­ful. Your faults will nev­er van­ish by call­ing atten­tion to the fault of oth­ers. In the same way, it doesn’t mean you don’t have what they have, doesn’t mean they are more suc­cess­ful than you are.

Don’t let oth­ers define your suc­cess. Don’t let oth­er peo­ple tell you what you want. No one can build him­self upon the faith or expe­ri­ence of anoth­er per­son.

Don’t mea­sure your Fail­ure as a per­son by what oth­ers have, and your suc­cess by what oth­ers haven’t. Keep that in mind.

8 Lessons From 100 Tula Para Kay Stella

Last Sun­day, we watched “100 Tula Para Kay Stel­la”. Yes third-wheel ulit ako though I can watch movies alone. I don’t watch roman­tic movies cause I watch movies unless it will pick my inter­est to do so. But this time, I am deter­mined to watch a local indie movie. I love indies! It depicts the real­i­ty of life. I love the plot, I love the sto­ry of a young man who fell in love with a young woman and wrote poems for her.

I can relate some­how as a cer­ti­fied intro­vert and a tor­pe before, I remem­ber when I was in high school, I wrote a lot of let­ters for my crush in a piece of a note­book. And then I wrote every­thing about her on it. From poems to love let­ters. I know you want to know what hap­pened and to cut the long sto­ry short, I failed to give the note­book to her because I found out she has a boyfriend already. Haha­ha. The note­book? I burned that already.

So while watch­ing the movie, I wrote as much as pos­si­ble lessons that I learned from it. I believe not only in a rela­tion­ship, we can apply these in our dai­ly lives.

Dis­claimer: Images are not mine. If you own any of these don’t hes­i­tate to email me and will give the right­ful own­er­ship to you.

 

1. Tell it upfront.

For men, when you like some­one, first pray about it then tell her when you’re ready to com­mit not when you’re lone­ly.

I like how Fidel wrote poems for her. He invest­ed his emo­tions to Stel­la by fan­ta­siz­ing about her and wrote it in a poem. But he failed to tell her when in fact they have been togeth­er for so many times. He got the chance to tell her when Stel­la has mar­ried to oth­er man and preg­nant already, how dev­as­tat­ing. If he could have told her ear­ly, it might be a hap­py end­ing.

Kaya ikaw brad, pag ready ka na sabi­hin mo na! Women will tell you if they don’t like you by reject­ing you. If they don’t like you, assess your­self. Would you still like her despite the rejec­tion? Then try again after some time, if not, stay away and move on. If you’re wor­ried if you will still be friends after that? Most like­ly it depends on your deci­sion and her deci­sion. But accord­ing to what I have expe­ri­enced, it’s pos­si­ble but close­ness to each oth­er will take time to rebuild.

Just like in our dai­ly lives, we Fil­ipinos are man pleasers by nature. We fear rejec­tion, we don’t like the feel­ing of hurt­ing some­one, we want to be at peace with every­one. But it’s not good most of the time when our friend is doing some­thing wrong. Show care to them by telling them what it is.

In our careers, most man­agers today encour­age open doors. Tell all your con­cerns and com­plaints. Share your career aspi­ra­tions so they know how can they help you.

In every­thing, try to tell it up front. It is bet­ter to be clear so there will be no room for mis­un­der­stand­ing.

 

2. Have a deep­er pur­pose in all that you will do.

Pur­su­ing what you love while you are study­ing is not bad if you know how to man­age your pri­or­i­ties.

I like how Fidel focused on his stud­ies. He want­ed to fin­ish col­lege. He did not allow any oth­er cir­cum­stances to stop him from fin­ish­ing it.  He knows its pur­pose.

Unlike Stel­la who was a stub­born lady. All she wants is her dreams. To be famous, to per­form in front of a large crowd, being applaud­ed by many peo­ple. But for what? I observed that she lacks a deep­er sense of her pur­pose.

It is impor­tant to have a pur­pose in your life. Why do you do what you do? It is bet­ter to know your “why” first. What I mean, the deep­er pur­pose for your exis­tence. A pur­pose that will give you a mis­sion and vision big­ger than your­self.

 

 

3.  You need friends in your dark­est nights.

You need friends whom you will turn to when every­thing goes wrong. I expe­ri­enced the time when I was young that I don’t have friends to turn to. I felt alone, I felt no one loves me.

But thank God, He nev­er let me be alone. Choose the peo­ple whom you want to be asso­ci­at­ed with. They will make or break you. Bad com­pa­ny cor­rupts good char­ac­ter. You become the aver­age of the five peo­ple you spend time with.

 

4. A lost oppor­tu­ni­ty is a lost oppor­tu­ni­ty.

Sayang!” When we lost an oppor­tu­ni­ty we often exclaimed this. But a lost is a lost. But instead of regret­ting it, grab it next time.

 

5. Don’t be a social climber who uses peo­ple to their own advan­tage to achieve your dreams.

Stel­la uses peo­ple to her own advan­tage. She entered a rela­tion­ship with some men as a step towards ful­fill­ment of her dreams.

Don’t be a social climber. Don’t be user-friend­ly. If you want to achieve your dreams, have gen­uine rela­tion­ships with peo­ple who have the same inter­est and dreams as yours, who will help you and you will help as well. Be self-less serve them.

 

6. Don’t let your dreams become your pur­pose for your exis­tence.

Stella’s pur­pose for her exis­tence is her dreams of becom­ing a famous singer. How sad to know that she wasn’t able to achieve her dreams.

It’s okay to have dreams but don’t make it your world. Focus­ing too much on it will lead you to a frus­trat­ed life. Enjoy life, enjoy the jour­ney.

 

7. Some­times you don’t have to be des­per­ate for an oppor­tu­ni­ty. Be ready. As oppor­tu­ni­ty comes not to those who seek it but those who are ready for it.

Fidel doesn’t have plans to become a singer, but one of his class­mates dis­cov­ered that he has a tal­ent for singing. Then he start­ed to have gigs with his band.

Don’t be des­per­ate. If it’s meant for you, it’s for you.

 

8. Don’t make some­one becomes your world.

Fidel revolves his life around Stel­la. He made her his world. I remem­ber what he said to Stel­la: “Corny man sabi­hin, pero ikaw ang mun­do ko.”

To be hon­est, in the past, I made some­one to be my world. Dev­as­tat­ing expe­ri­ence. From there on, I learned not to make some­one my world. Because in the end, a per­son can love you or will be there as long as they can but can­not be with you for­ev­er.

That’s where I learn to make Jesus my world. Every­thing I do revolves around him. He is the rea­son for my exis­tence. He was there before I was born. He knows a lot about myself more than I know myself. He loves me more than any oth­er per­son in this world by giv­ing up His life for me.

To end this blog, I want to leave you one of the best lines from the movie:

This is true in some ways. Ang nakakat­u­luyan natin is yung taong gus­to ni Lord para sa atin.

Have you watched the movie already? Share in the com­ments what you have learned as well! If you haven’t watched, this is the last day, you must watch it!

Till next time.

How Having a Dream Board Can Help You

Two years ago, I’ve cre­at­ed my own dream board or also known as “vision board”. If the term is not yet famil­iar with you, let me define it first for you. A vision board is a col­lage of images, words, or any­thing that helps you visu­al­ize who you want to be and what kind of life you want to live.

Because I’m kind of a per­son who kin­da likes every­thing must have a strat­e­gy and must exe­cute it regard­less of cir­cum­stances, I don’t know what kind of life I will have with­out hav­ing goals for myself. If you are a vision­ary and ambi­tious per­son like me, hav­ing a vision board will help you a lot espe­cial­ly when you want clar­i­ty over your life.

Just to share with you, here is my vision board:

It’s been 7 years when I was dream­ing and pray­ing to have a car of my own, I’ve already have that. Now I keep dream­ing and pray­ing to have my own home, to be able to trav­el the places a few peo­ple knew through mis­sion trips, to be a moti­va­tion­al speak­er, a fam­i­ly of my own with hav­ing two chil­dren, a com­pa­ny or non-prof­it orga­ni­za­tion of my own and so on. And I was sure of that, I have noth­ing to add to it.

So, how hav­ing your own vision board can help you?

  1. It brings clar­i­ty to your dreams. 
  2. It will ener­gize you.
  3. It allows you to visu­al­ize and feel your future self.
  4. It will serve as a great reminder for you on a dai­ly basis that you need to hus­tle.
  5. It will serve as an inspi­ra­tion to you to face chal­lenges and go for an extra mile.

If you don’t have yet, cre­ate your own! I’m will­ing to help you and teach what I know. But it’s easy, promise!

As my favorite author once said, “You are nev­er too old to set anoth­er goal or to dream a new dream.” — C.S. Lewis

Choose The Offensive Side

Have you ever expe­ri­enced being a cow­ard and not being able to move? I remem­ber the first time I took my dri­ving class­es two years ago. I woke up every­day at 6 in the morn­ing so that I’ll be fin­ished then before my reg­u­lar work­ing hours. As I approach the driver’s seat, I was so excit­ed to have a grip on the steer­ing wheel and do every­thing I want­ed.

But the instruc­tor yelled at me; he said, “that’s not the prop­er way to grip.” And then he taught me that I should grip my left had on the 9th and my right hand on the 3rd (that is to treat the steer­ing wheel as a clock). He often yelled me if I did some­thing wrong, but then com­fort­ed me that it was okay. One thing that I’ve learned through­out the dura­tion of my dri­ving les­son is that you have to choose the offen­sive side but always prac­tice defen­sive dri­ving by fol­low­ing the rules and safe­ty pre­cau­tions. Being offen­sive in dri­ving doesn’t mean being stu­pid, it just means being brave enough to take aggres­sive deci­sions in the road like when tak­ing a turn in a merg­ing traf­fic and take the oppor­tu­ni­ty as quick­ly as pos­si­ble.

Now that I have my own car, some­one asked me if I still feel the fear. To be hon­est, the first time I drove my car, I was afraid. I am very care­ful to the extent that I was mov­ing so slow, and being so afraid led my car to obtain some scratch­es. Haha. Cur­rent­ly, I am not that afraid, I choose the offen­sive side. Some­times being afraid pre­vents us from reach­ing our max­i­mum poten­tial. The time I have man­aged my fear, I learned so quick­ly and I am no longer got scratch­es.

I real­ized, it should be like­wise in life. Many peo­ple slack off after a defeat. They become luke­warm and inde­ci­sive. And inde­ci­sive peo­ple are nev­er secure regard­less of their wealth, edu­ca­tion, or posi­tion. These peo­ple live defen­sive­ly. John Mason once said, “Peo­ple who live defen­sive­ly nev­er rise above being aver­age.”

And that’s our innate being. Our minds are pro­grammed to think neg­a­tive­ly after a cir­cum­stance, and our inner being will start guard­ing itself from fur­ther destruc­tion. Then you’ll start defend­ing your­self and not admit your own mis­takes, and the list goes on. It hap­pened to me a lot of times. I learned the hard way of deal­ing with my pains and short­com­ings, it made me to be afraid to make the next move. And some­times I crossed the line between frus­tra­tion and bit­ter­ness.

I learn not to defend your present sit­u­a­tion or cir­cum­stance. I became defen­sive and when you are on the defen­sive side, all con­flicts becomes per­son­al. Have you ever notice that to your­self when you are upset about some­thing your boss or your col­league did? You sud­den­ly explode and vent out to some­one defend­ing your­self that you were right. “kampi­han mo ako bes, mali siya, tama ako. Sino ba siya sa akala niya?” 

You see, most of the time our frus­tra­tions turns into bit­ter­ness. We become bit­ter towards the per­son that we attack them, we kill them with our thoughts, and most of the time, we tell them to oth­ers, thus the gos­sip comes. All of your rea­sons that are defen­sive almost nev­er suc­ceeds, and most­ly nev­er solve the issue.

Always choose to be the per­son who is on the offen­sive side and not the defen­sive. When you choose to be an offen­sive per­son, your life will begin to change. Being an offen­sive per­son  makes you to become strong and coura­geous as you fight the issue, not the per­son. In Joshua 1:6–9, the Lord says to Joshua three times, “Be strong and coura­geous!” and I believe it should be the best thing we can do as believ­ers.

What about if you were not sure where to go?

Have you ever expe­ri­enced going some­where you’ve nev­er been before and does not know which way to go? I expe­ri­enced that most of the time. But instead allow­ing myself to be intim­i­dat­ed, and pulling back myself, I’ll just go and see what’s ahead.

If you are not sure which way to go, may it be life’s biggest deci­sion, enter­ing a rela­tion­ship or not, pur­su­ing some­one you like or per­haps pur­su­ing anoth­er degree or edu­ca­tion, don’t be like most peo­ple stuck pray­ing. I’m noth­ing against pray­ing, as a mat­ter of fact, I do it often. But don’t stick with it. Pray then go, move to the sit­u­a­tion in faith. Faith with­out works is dead (James 2:17).

If you ever heard or read about the sto­ry of two fish­er­men stuck in the mid­dle of the see and trapped in the storm. One turned the to oth­er and asked: “Should we pray or should we row?” His com­pan­ion respond­ed, “Let’s do both!”

And that’s tak­ing the offen­sive side. Some­times, you don’t know what comes next but you should always try. Our faith is only test­ed when we take the leap.

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