Perfection is one thing I used to hate. I used to hate getting into details because I always looking into the bigger picture, I used to hate the fact when someone approaches me and tell me that my work is lacking despite I did all the things I could do because I didn’t see this and all of that and gave me a sermon all throughout.
Where was I coming from? I’m coming from my dominant self who wants to do the job as possible. Nothing to brag about but being I’ve been a performer as an employee not because my work is perfect, but with my desire and eagerness to finish my job ahead of the deadline, but it’s not always the case. Hehe.
Today I want to share some of my personal reflections. As I was reading my Bible this morning, a verse from the Scriptures hit me hard. It says, “Be ye perfect, as your Father in heaven is perfect.”
Ohh, wait a minute. There’s no perfect person except the Person of Jesus Christ. Then how can someone like me and you to be perfect? Well, I know some Christians will tell me, “Dhenn it is by the grace of God!” But what is grace for an ordinary person? How does it work?
I also find a few good people seems to think about our Lord’s words, “be perfect” as sort of, “Unless you are perfect, I will not come to help you.” In that case, we are mere mortals and our position in God is forever hopeless.
I Surrender, I Will Yield
5 years ago, it was Sunday evening when I fell on my knees inside my room because God was there. I felt Him, I was trembling in fear, I was crying for help.
“I surrender!” I exclaimed. If you have Christian friends, they often tell you, “Surrender your life to Jesus.” But what does it mean?
Surrendering to the lordship of Christ often means surrendering all of your life, including your relationships, possessions, desires, and dreams. But that doesn’t mean He wants all of that, He doesn’t need that because He wants only you, nothing less.
Our Lord is not a kill joy Master. He gave us the free will to do everything we want. But I found something more profound in this area of surrender.
He will come to help us to be perfect
I think the moment Jesus ordered us to be perfect, he doesn’t want us to be perfect as in now na.
It’s impossible for a mere mortal driven by fear, greed, selfishness, hopelessness, and pity.
Like other religious worldviews, we have today and even some “so-called” Christians are teaching self-denial, emptying yourself, positive psychology, but I think all of that is good but cannot give an everlasting peace within us.
You may find yourself doing sort of ceremonies and rituals, and religious worship but you may find your inner-self is starting to get angry and angrier each day like a prisoner wanted to get out of the jail because you think you don’t deserve it. You want to be good to please other people. Woe to you if it happened to you. A criminal is much closer to God than you.
What Jesus meant by that, I think is like this: “If you surrender and let me in, the only help I can give you is to help you to become perfect. You may want to improve your patience, you may want to be good to others, you may want to live a good life or only healing from the sins you were ashamed of but I will give you nothing less.”
Okay, let me explain in a more vivid way.
A Dental Procedure
When I was a child, I used to love candies. As a result, I often had a toothache. When I grew up, my teeth wasn’t that perfectly align. I look ugly every time I smile, so in order for me to hide that ugly smile, you might often see my old pictures having a serious face.
That’s when my mom asked me to inquire for braces. A piece of material that can align my teeth perfectly for a shorter amount of time.
The time my dentist put on the braces, err it was painful. She then she gave me pain relievers to ease it. But she doesn’t stop there. She told me to visit her every month to clean my teeth and check it often to make sure the each tooth is moving.
God is like a dentist if we let Him in. If my dentist only stopped after putting on the braces to my teeth, probably nothing will ever change. The change only happens the time I allowed her to cure me, to let her follow me up and visit her often.
I think God operates us like a dentist also. Perhaps an architect, engineer, a software developer, a sales man, a project manager, etc. In which these jobs don’t stop until their buildings, software or product meet its perfect condition. Like God, He doesn’t stop until He sees you as perfect and blameless ONLYTHENIFYOUSURRENDERANDLETHIMINTOYOURLIFE.
Wait a minute there is a cost? Yes. The dental procedure has a cost, building a structure has a cost. And of course being perfect has a cost as well.
Jesus warned people to count the cost before letting Him into their lives. In my view of thinking, I think if I were Jesus, I would say, “Make no mistakes, if you let me in, I will make you perfect.”
So what is the cost? Well here’s what I think the cost. I think Jesus meant this way, “Well you have the freedom to push me away and I will never change you but if you let me do so, I will make you perfect though it will make you suffer that may cost your life, I will purify you from your sins and it may cost you after death. I will make your heart perfect, though it may cost you many heartaches. Whatever it cost, I will never rest, I will never stop nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect, until my Father can say without any doubts and reservation that He is well pleased with you.”
But of course, it is not going to be an instant because I believe that perfection is progression.
I think the first step of being made into perfection is allowing the person of Jesus Christ to shape you.
I’ve been hearing a bunch of quotes and sayings that was intended to motivate others by merely saying “You are perfectly made by God.” Well, while nothing’s bad about it but for me, it’s just an attempt of feeding one’s prideful heart.
In the Bible, no one is made perfect except Christ. Well, Adam and Eve were made perfect because they are made in the image of God but after they have sinned, the future of all humanity after them wasn’t made in the image of God anymore. All of us and the entire next generation were made in the image of Adam and Eve, tainted by sin.
That’s why you and I cannot claim that we are created in the image of God. We and the rest of humanity were made by Adam and Eve. We don’t possess the same will and interest that God has. We maybe “look like” God but not totally like God because His image is holy, perfect, and blameless.
Now, how God can bring us back to our original image just ask like the image of the Son of God? Through Jesus Christ. Like what I previously said, it takes the Person of Christ to mold us back to our original image. But that won’t happen until we allow Him to do it.
For example, I am your friend. Of course, because I am your friend, you allowed me to a certain degree to have a share in your life. Perhaps you can allow me to meet your family, you can open up to me or share stories you’ve never told to others. Would you do that to a stranger? Or an acquaintance? Or a fan? Of course not. That’s why Jesus wants to have a relationship with you first. He wants you to trust him fully.
And if you trust him completely. Then He will start to mold you. It’s like a gold bar being bent, hammered and shape into one’s desired output. It’s going to be painful at some point but it’s definitely worth it.
Just imagine the pain of having your braces, you trust your dentist that she will do everything to make your teeth perfect. But of course, it will be painful. Sometimes it’s hard to eat.
God rarely uses people who do not allow Him to mold them first. Of course, God can use you anytime, but God often uses people during while He molds them.
It’s like He is testing you. “How long will my child put his trust on me? Let me use him for a little mission I have for him.”
I remember the time when I wanted to go to missions. That didn’t happen very quickly. God used me first to give to the missions. When I say give, not only my time to pray, my time to help missionaries but also to support them financially.
I don’t know about you. But God for sure wants to use you while He is in the process of molding you. Molding you is not an easy process, it takes your entire life.
You may want to skip this part and may say “God can still mold me and use somebody. ” Alright fine, but without allowing Him to use you for His purpose, you will never be perfect.
Of course, sending comes next.
God won’t send you if He sees it is not yet good for you. C.S Lewis once said, “God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him.”
I think God rarely sends people without a weapon, to begin with. He makes sure that the person he called was ready, and he was ensuring it through the process of molding and using him at the same time.
When was the last time your boss or colleagues treat you badly? How did you respond to them?
When was the last time you serve others, do you serve because you want your leaders to see you that are serving or they have just told you to serve and you want them to be proud of you, or you want people to recognize that you have a good voice and a clever mind, or you serve because you only want to help them carrying out the task?
That’s where God will evaluate your heart. I think if He is kind of a sort like me who have a checklist, He will have a heart-readiness checklist.
Sending is one of the most exciting parts that God has for you and me. As they said, it is life changing. Yes, definitely! You’ll see more the heart of God not for your church only, not for your family only but His heart for all humanity.
Imagine a God who restrained Himself in one planet. Of all the planets in the universe, why on us? Perhaps there maybe another living species outside our universe, who knows? The Bible only tells about how the earth begins and how it will end gloriously.
A God who restrained Himself to us, humans that He gave so much important than anything else.
Why is He doing that? It is because…
For His Glory
In the beginning was God. Everything He created was for Him. If that’s the case then probably our God is a sort of lunatic and sort of a selfish childish god who created us so that He has a toy to play with.
Of course, that was not the case. Imagine our Lord as an artist. We are His masterpiece and He was so obsessed with it and He will do everything to make us perfect and will wait on us until we become like little Christ.He created us for His own pleasure.
“And no lie was found in their mouth, they are blameless.” Revelation 14:15
Last week, Monday, I spent my holiday together with my friends and new found friends inside the community of singles from our church.
‘Twas a whole day of fun and getting to know some of them through asking questions and playing games with them. As they said, you can only know the people for who they are by playing games with them.
When Singleness becomes a sickness
For so many years that I’ve been a Christian and spending time and ministering to some single men for years, and observing some of my friends who are single, most of them thought that singleness is a sickness.
Whether be it a single man or women, countless of them hoping they are in a relationship with someone, praying for that right man or woman to come.
Insecurity causes sickness
“Do I look like ugly?”, “Why there’s no man want to pursue me?”, “Why seems all the woman I approach doesn’t like me?” Ugh, insecurity kills. I have a lot of them. Insecurity sometimes hid in the form of pride or pity. And most of my insecurities appeared whenever someone compared me to others on a personal level.
That’s when you fill the hole in your heart with so many things. Then you became bitter with others who are in a relationship.
But I want you to think in a different way.
The Three Seasons of Life
There are only three seasons a man should have. The season you were studying as a student, the season you worked, the season when you will retire.
The first season, some say that when you were a student, you have a lot of time and energy but lack of resources. Since students rely on their parents for allowances.
The next season is you have enough money but lack time. Here’s adulting comes in. With so many responsibilities, we wanted for a more balanced life.
The last season is the season when you have a lot of money but lack time and energy.
There’s a beauty in every season but not everyone is maximizing it. Students often waste their youth by playing games, party, drinking sessions, etc. I’ve been there and done that.
Single people often waste their season by still acting as a student or not accepting their present season.
Instead of building themselves up, they keep wishing. Instead of taking responsibility they keep getting away from it. Instead of learning how to wait, they settled in the complexity of life that could give them anything in an instant.
How about the old ones? I don’t think they have enough time to waste. You see most of them maximizing the remaining years of their lives.
When I was a student, I was a gamer. I learned to play computer games when I was 15, became addicted to it, I learned to steal and lie because of it. Imagine, every time my mom asked me to buy something from the supermarket or grocery nearby. I often return to her after an hour because I have to go to the computer shop first!
When I became a young professional, I still play those games severely until I was 21. I spent all the money I earned to make sure my character becomes more powerful each painless purchase. I was starving yet my virtual player was powerful, isn’t ironic?
We often waste our time pursuing worthless pursuits because we didn’t have the wisdom how to number our days. You see, people often make excuses because they didn’t know their time. For example, if one person told you and he’s complaining because he cannot save money, then you told him to set aside 15 to 20% of his salary every month and he will tell you: “I am too young to think about it”, and when he gets old and starting to build his own family, “I have to send the kids to school.” And I guess that’s one of the reasons why most Filipino cannot save money.
Teach ourselves to number our days
In the Bible, it teaches us to number our days. It says in Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.”
Brevity means shortness. Thus, the shortness of life. The question relies upon on how do we maximize this life we have?
1. Be faithful to your season.
Don’t jump in too quickly. Each of us has different time zones, don’t envy other’s time zone.
Imagine your life as a book. And an author wrote it. For instance, I am writing a novel. Joseph was my main character for this novel project. While Joseph while doing something, someone called him outside. (that’s his time) but it doesn’t mean I have the same timezone as Joseph has. I can write and finish the novel for hours and moved on to another novel project which has a different main character.
Hence, I am, as an author was outside of my character’s time zone. What seems days and years for Joseph was only the present for me. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but I believe that is how God operates in our lives.
In every season of our lives, for God, it is all happening at the same time because He is outside our time. Knowing that God puts us inside the time and He watches us, we should be faithful in our season.
2. Have goals with deadlines.
Zig Ziglar once said, “If you aim at nothing you will hit it every time.”
A goal without a deadline is merely a wish. It’s hard to hit a deadline, but it makes us grow even more. For me, even the journey of achieving that goal will be painful and difficult, I press on towards that goal because I know if I was able to achieve that, it will bring fulfillment to me and I definitely grow as a person.
Wait a minute, why should I have goals and set a deadline for each of them when you said in the previous item that God has already ordained what will happen. Can I just rely on him and slack off anytime I want?
First, God is not a sort of dictator or someone who controls a puppet. He created mankind not to control them but for His own pleasure. For the sake of illustration, imagine an artist who painted his masterpiece. Anyone can see it, anyone can touch it, He can even show it the world that he is proud of it but he has no control what people will do with it. At the same time, God created us for His own pleasure. Though He created us in his own image and likeness, we are not like Him. He gave us the free will in order that we can love Him genuinely and voluntarily. True love is voluntary, so in order for us to be capable of loving God, we also had to be capable of something else, including rebellion/sin. A loving relationship must be a free-relationship. Would you like to be in a relationship that someone controls how you do everything?
So, even though God knew what choices we would make, if He actually wanted people to love him, then He had to give them the chance to do so. Otherwise, our entire existence would have been merely a thought experiment that didn’t turn out well—but that’s not why God created humanity. He wanted us to know and love Him.
3. Embrace failures.
Of course, life is not only about success, achievements, and joy. Without failure, we will not know what it likes to be successful. In the same way, without suffering we will not know what it feels to be happy.
Life is not as smooth sailing as it is. You will meet challenges along the way and you will fail every now and then.
But if you know that an Author has written already your story, what a comfort it brings to see life in a brighter perspective.
This reminds me of God’s plan for humankind ever since the very beginning of this world.
When the earth was only full of waters and there was only darkness, God made an expanse to separate waters and the heavens and created the land in the middle of it. Then he created birds of all kinds and animals of all kinds.
And he created man and woman out of the dust naked and vulnerable but they don’t feel it because they were sustained and being warmed by the presence of God. And God gave them the command to “fill the earth.”
The first man and woman failed and sin against God because a serpent deceived them to disobey God. Well, it doesn’t happen very quickly. The serpent (symbol for God’s enemy) has to twists and made God a liar, selfish and a dictator who doesn’t want His creature to be like Him.
The enemy knows when to attack the man and woman and that’s when they are out of the presence of God. Remember they are vulnerable and only sustained by God.
But despite that, God is so gracious. The mankind when punished, do all sorts of things to reach God and attempted to be like God but they failed. God brought chaos not because He wants it, but because He wants to restore everything in order.
Remember the command “fill the earth”? It won’t happen if God allows all mankind to live in the same location and speaks the same language.
The same story He has for us will continue to happen to reminds us that it all starts with Him and everything will end with Him.
Last July, I met with a friend and a mentor, his name is Jesse, a fellow toastmaster, a speaker, and a financial planner. We talk a lot about different things and what’s going on with our lives, what’s my plan, what are my dreams and aspirations. He even asked me when I could leave the corporate life.
Well, If it was not for the mission that God gave to stay in the marketplace for this season and with the present reality of my life that I have bills to pay, and dream house to build, I wouldn’t stay any longer. My advice is that take it step by step.
And then a thought came while listening to him that this person has achieved more than what I have achieved. Then in our circles, one of my friends also at a young age became a CEO of a company. Wow! I am so privileged that God has brought me to learn from this people. But then, I became insecure; I wish I have started early. I wish I have learned these things at a young age. How I wish, I did not apply for a job when I was a fresh graduate but rather start a business on my own. Ugh, wishful thinking.
Can you relate?. How terrible the feeling was when you are being surrounded with successful people that you thought about your own failures and what have you done in your life.
There is no wasted time for God
Then what he told me blew me away. He said, “Dhenn, it is not because you failed, or you missed the mark at that age, it’s just that at that young age, their season has come. In everything, there is a season right? A time to reap and a time to sow. Perhaps the time they were reaping, you were sowing experiences.”
He reminded me that there is no wasted time for God. He caused all things to happen at the right time. He caused all things to happen to work together for our good whether it is bad, painful or not.
Then I remember another friend came and said, “I’m so glad that God is doing great things in your life. I see some of it and He caused you to increase in every way but as I saw your life, I doubted what God is doing in my life. I became full of doubt whether I am walking according to His will or even fulfilling the calling He has for me. I had not the same success as you are.”
You are not me
I looked at him and asked him, “Do you think you will still full of doubts and it would feel you better if you see me living a terrible life and had been doing much worse in the past few years?”“Of course not.” He responded.
I said, “Sorry but I didn’t mean to offend you but your thinking is flawed. You said the other was true but the second is not. If the other is true, what I said must be true, because you are comparing yourself to me.”
“What happens in my life and what God will do with it has nothing to do with what God is doing in your life. You are not me, and I am not you.” I added.
Focus on what God is doing in your life
I remember a story of an employee who was constantly complaining that management is corrupt not listening to its employees and some of his colleagues are lazy and unproductive. And then he set a meeting with his manager about it.
All the way down, the manager listened to his complaints. Then the manager asked a favor from him. “Before you leave, can you give me two full glass of water, please?. Make sure there’s no spill will get into the floor not even a little.”
The employee came back and gave the glasses to the manager. Then the manager asked him, “While you were walking with both of your hands have full water of glass, do you see any employees who are unproductive? Do you see any of them gossiping around? Do you see the management scolding other employees?”“No there’s none.” The employee responded.
You will find that God rarely uses people whose primary concern is what others are doing. When God told Noah to build an ark, Noah did what God has told of Him, he didn’t complain that people are not believing him.
Judging others is a major waste of time. It halts progress. I’ve met and seen people doing that. They think they are doing better than the average person in which it makes them an average person.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t have what you have, doesn’t mean they are not successful. Your faults will never vanish by calling attention to the fault of others. In the same way, it doesn’t mean you don’t have what they have, doesn’t mean they are more successful than you are.
Don’t let others define your success. Don’t let other people tell you what you want. No one can build himself upon the faith or experience of another person.
Don’t measure your Failure as a person by what others have, and your success by what others haven’t. Keep that in mind.
Last Sunday, we watched “100 Tula Para Kay Stella”. Yes third-wheel ulit ako though I can watch movies alone. I don’t watch romantic movies cause I watch movies unless it will pick my interest to do so. But this time, I am determined to watch a local indie movie. I love indies! It depicts the reality of life. I love the plot, I love the story of a young man who fell in love with a young woman and wrote poems for her.
I can relate somehow as a certified introvert and a torpe before, I remember when I was in high school, I wrote a lot of letters for my crush in a piece of a notebook. And then I wrote everything about her on it. From poems to love letters. I know you want to know what happened and to cut the long story short, I failed to give the notebook to her because I found out she has a boyfriend already. Hahaha. The notebook? I burned that already.
So while watching the movie, I wrote as much as possible lessons that I learned from it. I believe not only in a relationship, we can apply these in our daily lives.
Disclaimer: Images are not mine. If you own any of these don’t hesitate to email me and will give the rightful ownership to you.
1. Tell it upfront.
For men, when you like someone, first pray about it then tell her when you’re ready to commit not when you’re lonely.
I like how Fidel wrote poems for her. He invested his emotions to Stella by fantasizing about her and wrote it in a poem. But he failed to tell her when in fact they have been together for so many times. He got the chance to tell her when Stella has married to other man and pregnant already, how devastating. If he could have told her early, it might be a happy ending.
Kaya ikaw brad, pag ready ka na sabihin mo na! Women will tell you if they don’t like you by rejecting you. If they don’t like you, assess yourself. Would you still like her despite the rejection? Then try again after some time, if not, stay away and move on. If you’re worried if you will still be friends after that? Most likely it depends on your decision and her decision. But according to what I have experienced, it’s possible but closeness to each other will take time to rebuild.
Just like in our daily lives, we Filipinos are man pleasers by nature. We fear rejection, we don’t like the feeling of hurting someone, we want to be at peace with everyone. But it’s not good most of the time when our friend is doing something wrong. Show care to them by telling them what it is.
In our careers, most managers today encourage open doors. Tell all your concerns and complaints. Share your career aspirations so they know how can they help you.
In everything, try to tell it up front. It is better to be clear so there will be no room for misunderstanding.
2. Have a deeper purpose in all that you will do.
Pursuing what you love while you are studying is not bad if you know how to manage your priorities.
I like how Fidel focused on his studies. He wanted to finish college. He did not allow any other circumstances to stop him from finishing it. He knows its purpose.
Unlike Stella who was a stubborn lady. All she wants is her dreams. To be famous, to perform in front of a large crowd, being applauded by many people. But for what? I observed that she lacks a deeper sense of her purpose.
It is important to have a purpose in your life. Why do you do what you do? It is better to know your “why” first. What I mean, the deeper purpose for your existence. A purpose that will give you a mission and vision bigger than yourself.
3. You need friends in your darkest nights.
You need friends whom you will turn to when everything goes wrong. I experienced the time when I was young that I don’t have friends to turn to. I felt alone, I felt no one loves me.
But thank God, He never let me be alone. Choose the people whom you want to be associated with. They will make or break you. Bad company corrupts good character. You become the average of the five people you spend time with.
4. A lost opportunity is a lost opportunity.
“Sayang!” When we lost an opportunity we often exclaimed this. But a lost is a lost. But instead of regretting it, grab it next time.
5. Don’t be a social climber who uses people to their own advantage to achieve your dreams.
Stella uses people to her own advantage. She entered a relationship with some men as a step towards fulfillment of her dreams.
Don’t be a social climber. Don’t be user-friendly. If you want to achieve your dreams, have genuine relationships with people who have the same interest and dreams as yours, who will help you and you will help as well. Be self-less serve them.
6. Don’t let your dreams become your purpose for your existence.
Stella’s purpose for her existence is her dreams of becoming a famous singer. How sad to know that she wasn’t able to achieve her dreams.
It’s okay to have dreams but don’t make it your world. Focusing too much on it will lead you to a frustrated life. Enjoy life, enjoy the journey.
7. Sometimes you don’t have to be desperate for an opportunity. Be ready. As opportunity comes not to those who seek it but those who are ready for it.
Fidel doesn’t have plans to become a singer, but one of his classmates discovered that he has a talent for singing. Then he started to have gigs with his band.
Don’t be desperate. If it’s meant for you, it’s for you.
8. Don’t make someone becomes your world.
Fidel revolves his life around Stella. He made her his world. I remember what he said to Stella: “Corny man sabihin, pero ikaw ang mundo ko.”
To be honest, in the past, I made someone to be my world. Devastating experience. From there on, I learned not to make someone my world. Because in the end, a person can love you or will be there as long as they can but cannot be with you forever.
That’s where I learn to make Jesus my world. Everything I do revolves around him. He is the reason for my existence. He was there before I was born. He knows a lot about myself more than I know myself. He loves me more than any other person in this world by giving up His life for me.
To end this blog, I want to leave you one of the best lines from the movie:
This is true in some ways. Ang nakakatuluyan natin is yung taong gusto ni Lord para sa atin.
Have you watched the movie already? Share in the comments what you have learned as well! If you haven’t watched, this is the last day, you must watch it!
Two years ago, I’ve created my own dream board or also known as “vision board”. If the term is not yet familiar with you, let me define it first for you. A vision board is a collage of images, words, or anything that helps you visualize who you want to be and what kind of life you want to live.
Because I’m kind of a person who kinda likes everything must have a strategy and must execute it regardless of circumstances, I don’t know what kind of life I will have without having goals for myself. If you are a visionary and ambitious person like me, having a vision board will help you a lot especially when you want clarity over your life.
Just to share with you, here is my vision board:
It’s been 7 years when I was dreaming and praying to have a car of my own, I’ve already have that. Now I keep dreaming and praying to have my own home, to be able to travel the places a few people knew through mission trips, to be a motivational speaker, a family of my own with having two children, a company or non-profit organization of my own and so on. And I was sure of that, I have nothing to add to it.
So, how having your own vision board can help you?
It brings clarity to your dreams.
It will energize you.
It allows you to visualize and feel your future self.
It will serve as a great reminder for you on a daily basis that you need to hustle.
It will serve as an inspiration to you to face challenges and go for an extra mile.
If you don’t have yet, create your own! I’m willing to help you and teach what I know. But it’s easy, promise!
As my favorite author once said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — C.S. Lewis
Have you ever experienced being a coward and not being able to move? I remember the first time I took my driving classes two years ago. I woke up everyday at 6 in the morning so that I’ll be finished then before my regular working hours. As I approach the driver’s seat, I was so excited to have a grip on the steering wheel and do everything I wanted.
But the instructor yelled at me; he said, “that’s not the proper way to grip.” And then he taught me that I should grip my left had on the 9th and my right hand on the 3rd (that is to treat the steering wheel as a clock). He often yelled me if I did something wrong, but then comforted me that it was okay. One thing that I’ve learned throughout the duration of my driving lesson is that you have to choose the offensive sidebut always practice defensive driving by following the rules and safety precautions. Being offensive in driving doesn’t mean being stupid, it just means being brave enough to take aggressive decisions in the road like when taking a turn in a merging traffic and take the opportunity as quickly as possible.
Now that I have my own car, someone asked me if I still feel the fear. To be honest, the first time I drove my car, I was afraid. I am very careful to the extent that I was moving so slow, and being so afraid led my car to obtain some scratches. Haha. Currently, I am not that afraid, I choose the offensive side. Sometimes being afraid prevents us from reaching our maximum potential. The time I have managed my fear, I learned so quickly and I am no longer got scratches.
I realized, it should be likewise in life. Many people slack off after a defeat. They become lukewarm and indecisive. And indecisive people are never secure regardless of their wealth, education, or position. These people live defensively. John Mason once said, “People who live defensively never rise above being average.”
And that’s our innate being. Our minds are programmed to think negatively after a circumstance, and our inner being will start guarding itself from further destruction. Then you’ll start defending yourself and not admit your own mistakes, and the list goes on. It happened to me a lot of times. I learned the hard way of dealing with my pains and shortcomings, it made me to be afraid to make the next move. And sometimes I crossed the line between frustration and bitterness.
I learn not to defend your present situation or circumstance. I became defensive and when you are on the defensive side, all conflicts becomes personal. Have you ever notice that to yourself when you are upset about something your boss or your colleague did? You suddenly explode and vent out to someone defending yourself that you were right. “kampihan mo ako bes, mali siya, tama ako. Sino ba siya sa akala niya?”
You see, most of the time our frustrations turns into bitterness. We become bitter towards the person that we attack them, we kill them with our thoughts, and most of the time, we tell them to others, thus the gossip comes. All of your reasons that are defensive almost never succeeds, and mostly never solve the issue.
Always choose to be the person who is on the offensive side and not the defensive. When you choose to be an offensive person, your life will begin to change. Being an offensive person makes you to become strong and courageous as you fight the issue, not the person. In Joshua 1:6–9, the Lord says to Joshua three times, “Be strong and courageous!” and I believe it should be the best thing we can do as believers.
What about if you were not sure where to go?
Have you ever experienced going somewhere you’ve never been before and does not know which way to go? I experienced that most of the time. But instead allowing myself to be intimidated, and pulling back myself, I’ll just go and see what’s ahead.
If you are not sure which way to go, may it be life’s biggest decision, entering a relationship or not, pursuing someone you like or perhaps pursuing another degree or education, don’t be like most people stuck praying. I’m nothing against praying, as a matter of fact, I do it often. But don’t stick with it. Pray then go, move to the situation in faith. Faith without works is dead (James 2:17).
If you ever heard or read about the story of two fishermen stuck in the middle of the see and trapped in the storm. One turned the to other and asked: “Should we pray or should we row?” His companion responded, “Let’s do both!”
And that’s taking the offensive side. Sometimes, you don’t know what comes next but you should always try. Our faith is only tested when we take the leap.