As the year ends, it has been my routine to reflect on the things I did for the current year.But while I was thinking, I suddenly remember the days when I was still studying and realize how fast it has been then, and yet - I'm still single.
It's been years since then when was the last time I faced the cruelty and the agony of rejection that froze me for many years yet that didn't work the way I desire it.
And after I have moved on from the pain it caused, my desire for "being" in a relationship someday, ceased.
Maybe that's how God works in healing a broken heart until you will never feel it until we won't desire it anymore. I hope that's the way it is, but if not, I'm afraid that I lost interest on it.
A few friends asking me questions like: "Dhenn when will you get married?", "When will you date someone again?", "When will you find someone again?", "Dhenn you should get married by now!"
I don't know, before when they teased me like that, I pause for a moment to think, then I was asking God for it. But it's different today because I don't pray for it by now.
I don't pray for it, not because I want to be single forever (who wants that?), but because there was a change in my heart.
My love for Jesus has increased more and more each day as I seek Him always. I have never been this content before in my season.
While each season in our lives offered different benefits there are so many things that a single can do, than someone who is in a relationship. Here's why:
1. Singleness is a season where you can hone your craft.
Many youths today fell in love to be in love and so it saddened me when most of them buried their dreams for the sake of infatuation.
If you are single consider it as a gift. Only in your singleness you can master your craft and become an expert on it.
Educate yourself with the right information and attend seminars and events that'll help you to nurture and discover it.
Because when you get married, your priority will change and time will barely let you pursue growth in your lifetime.
2. Singleness is a season where you prepare yourself for your future wife or husband.
Only in your singleness, you can learn:
- How to cook.
- Washing the laundry.
- Taking care of someone else.
- Saving money for the future.
Singleness will lead you to become the right person for your future partner. If you love your future partner, learning these skills is a must.
3. Singleness is a season where you are free to explore everything.
When you're in a relationship, you can't afford to explore everything. You barely learn a new skill as your priorities will change and it will be for your partner.
So do it and explore what you haven't explored yet while you are single.
4. Singleness is a season where you can pursue your dreams and aspirations.
Being single allows you to reach your potential. It allows you to embrace failure and be successful in time.
Mark Zuckerberg founded Facebook when he was single. Though he was in a relationship but not married.
Steve Jobs founded Apple when he was single.
Bill Gates founded Microsoft when he was single.
Why? Because you have plenty of time to hustle. What most single people missed a lot today is to let themselves work for one's dream.
Employment is great, it provides you the income to support your family but losing your dream for it is a different story.
One more thing some single people missed today is the time they spent hanging out till the rooster crowed.
There was a time I allowed myself to hang out with my friends for no purpose. I just love the fellowship, it's great to build bond and trust, but I realize, spending an hour or two won't hurt but more than that would.
Two weeks ago we just had a fruitful thanksgiving party for all the people who joined the mission trips this year.
After the meeting, one friend had made a great effort to call every one of us to meet in Starbucks. Upon arrival in the coffee shop, everyone was on their phones. Some were discussing a topic on their own which others could not relate.
I said to myself, this was another waste of time. Meeting for no purpose. Why did most single people love to hang out without a purpose? They could have spent it with their families or building something that matters.
I was glad when a friend pointed it out. He asked everyone: "Guys what is the purpose of this meeting? Why do you call us?"
One friend responded: "Just to see each other." For me the answer was vague. We have seen each other already in the meeting. But knowing this person, he just loves to hang out.
My friend set a time when we can leave. He was a bit frustrated because he was expecting something. Everyone was tired, some are students and they need to wake up early for school.
While you are single, don't waste your time on the things that don't add value to you. Hanging out is great, do it, but not so often that you even messed up someone's schedule for it. If you need to de-stress yourself, have some time alone or grab a friend who you can talk to. Not everyone.
But that night ends purposefully. My friend started a conversation while he was driving and it became fruitful because we had the chance to exchange our point of views on a certain topic.
Build on what matters. Check if someone is wasting your time and put them in the least priorities. If you are the one who loves hanging out with people for no purpose, please don't waste someone's energy and time. That attitude is not good
And one more thing...
5. Singleness allows you to build up your savings.
When you become married, you'll be giving your ATM Card to your partner or whoever has the skill and ability to budget the money.
You are not on your own, you have to think first of your family. Everything you earn or you own is also a property of your wife or husband.
Many marriages have been destroyed because of financial issues. Before you get married, make sure you are ready to give up everything.
Singleness allows you to enjoy money on your own. Go ahead, build memories. But don't forget to build your savings as well.
And these things that I've learned from being a single.
Singleness is not a sickness. It's for a season. Singleness season starts at the age of 20 until you get married. Imagine only a few years if you wish to get married by twenty-five.
How about you? What are the things you are doing today for your future? Comment it below.
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